Unringing the Bell

Flame; 31 for 21

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I was *this* close to not hauling the kids in to church this morning because I am not feeling well and was (am) overtired (G has taken to waking at an ungodly hour of the morning which is SO not like her, historically, and there's no reasoning with her to go back to bed or remain quiet). Not to mention we had a bunch on our docket for the day. On the way home in the van, however, I was glad we did go. I had one of those a-ha moments, more than that, a moment of extreme peace with a decision I made that felt like a gift. Not because I dragged our butts into church today, but because I (try to) drag our butts in to church every week; that we have chosen a spiritual home and have committed ourselves to a place that feels right--if, on occasion, quirky. (It makes sense that we'd choose a quirky spiritual home afterall, being the quirky people we are!)

I didn't catch the exact initial phrase Rainer used because I was driving, but thankfully Alex picked out a phrase in his characteristic unbroken string of words. It was something along the lines of "Miss Crystal says I have an open mind."

Miss Crystal is the "teacher" (they don't really have official Religious Ed until the 4yo pre-k, but the nursery folks light a chalice (battery-operated) and have a little circle time and discuss the UU prinicpals, too).

It is so interesting to find out that it's really making an impact. That Rainer is really paying attention. You have to wonder with a boy of not-quite-three, just what he's paying attention to. But he is. And I am thrilled that this is the message. I know that it's this message because of the place where we choose to attend.

My guess is that Crystal said something about how we are the church of "The open minds, the loving hearts, and the helping hands." That is the child-friendly welcome spoken before every service.

I said the phrase to Rainer and he said, "Yes! That's it!"

He went on to say that Miss Crystal told him he has a little candle burning in his heart.

And my goodness, even typing that and hearing his little voice telling us about the little candle burning in his heart....it makes me tear up and gives me a little thrill.

Because our children do. They have these little candles burning in their hearts and I am glad mine are learning that. It's reminded me that I need to talk more openly about some of my beliefs with the kids. Whether they "get it" yet or not is somewhat besides the point for now.

And it's also made me want to strive to slow down a little. Rainer--and increasingly, Georgia--have so much to say. And I want to hear every word.

(Remind me that tomorrow when Rainer asks me an almost-unanswerable "why" question tomorrow for the three hundredth, wouldja'?)

 

Everyday Ordinary Inclusion; 31 for 21

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 It's Sunday. Which means we are BUSY! Gone are the days of lollygagging around (although, come on', I mean, I am pretty sure those days were gone the day after Georgia was extubated after heart surgery--before that, she was willing to lollygag a fair amount (although "lollygag" probably isn't a fair assessment)). It's true though, that while some would harken back to day one of their child's life when lollygagging became exctinct (at least for a little while), I think we stopped lollygagging after G's surgery. (You know, besides all those...oh....NICU and PICU stays, and the early intervention hullabaloo, and the...well...the list goes on.)

Anyhow. I digresss. I meant to talk about TODAY. Or, rather Sundays. In general. They're busy!

In addition to starting her pre-k class in the public school a few weeks ago, Georgia also started attended Religious Education classes at our church in their pre-k program. I am happy to report it's going well! (Although, she did end up not going today because she wasn't feeling well.)

Our church is an incredibly open and accepting and inclusive place and I love that Georgia is not the only "quirky" child there. Nor is she the only child with Down syndrome! In fact, the pre-k teacher is a friend of mine who also happens to have a daughter about Rainer's age who has DS. She and Rainer are in the nursery together on Sunday mornings. In fact, I specifically asked this woman (who is also a special educator) if she would be willing to teach in G's pre-k class this year. Parents are expected to volunteer in some level in Religious Ed when their kids are in the program and since she knew she was going to have to put in hours somewhere, and because she is my friend, and because I believe she cares about Georgia, she agreed. I didn't want to do it, simply because I know G does better if I am not right there, but I have already promised her that I will step up next year when her daughter is the right age for RE.

But I don't mean to imply that the only reason G is accepted is because there are other quirky kids, and kids with DS, and a special needs mom teaching the class. Our church is very welcoming and they didn't bat an eye when I asked about signing Georgia up. (I want to clarify that I wasn't asking if she could sign up because of DS, more because I wasn't sure what age it started.) 

For my part, I am now a teen youth advisor. And while it eats up a lot of our Sunday morning I am really truly enjoying being around these kids every week. They are thoughtful and talented and creative and a lot of fun.

For anyone interested in just what UU is, there is a great resource here. It's 100 Questions that non-UU members ask about Unitarian Universalism. But to put it somewhat more concisely, the way our Reverand has described it is that UUism is about "right relationships" not "right religion."

I have been a member of our church for a little over two years. I joined when Rainer was about 9 months old. At the time, I needed--desperately--some alone time. It seems funny to go to a congregation when one needs alone time, but it worked for me. I could go to a service and listen...or not. (Although I almost always listened.) I could just be with other people, but participate as much or as little as I wanted. I knew I wanted to raise my kids in this church almost immediately. I met a lot of other moms and dads through a playgroup a (now) friend organized back in the early days of my going there and eventually joined the choir. I only stayed on the choir for one year, but joined the small group ministries (called Chalice Circles) and this year I find myself facilitating the group I joined back then.

I will admit that A wasn't as into going as I was in the beginning. And frankly, back then, I was glad to leave them all behind and have my own "thing." But I am pretty sure--as he doesn't complain about it--that A has grown to appreciate the church as well. He knows how important it is for our kids to have a base like this, for Georgia AND Rainer. The services run the gamut from the sacred to the profane, spirtuality to science, and everything in between. Today's service was about Jonah, but I happen to know that on the 16th we are discussing paganism. And frankly, I think A likes singing the hymns, and sitting there for a whole hour while someone else entertains the kids. (I have to admit, that alone is worth the price of admission.)

Now, working with these teenagers--all of whom have been raised since early childhood as UUs--and seeing how open and honest and welcoming and special they are. I know that I have made the right decision twisting my husband's arm to get him to come along for the ride. (Though really, it didn't take that much twisting.)

I am going to stop here lest this start to sound like evangelizing. That's really not my bag. I just wanted to write something about my church because it has become a HUGE part of my life. Of OUR life. It's a big part of how we include Georgia. Include as in...just living our life. In the world. Together. Like families do.

Today a friend, another mom, emailed me and told me her son was asking where Georgia was because she wasn't at RE this morning.

Those little things. They mean the world.