Unringing the Bell

I'm Serious. As a Heart Attack.

1. Seriously, Comcast, why does our internet go out every five minutes necessitating the need to unplug and replug the coaxial cable every time I want to say boo?

2. Seriously, Rainer, yes, it's true, we put your crib in the attic. But PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD AND HOLY, that doesn't mean you have to start getting up two hours earlier EVERY day(before 6am) and losing your shiz by 10am and at The Y and in the grocery store and because I gave you too little or too much or too medium an amount of milk. G is starting to look like the rational patient one and you know I've already painted her out to be a pill enough times for people to start questioning me!

3.  No. Seriously. I can hear you. Take a nap. You are KILLING me. And if you wake up your sister (who IS napping, like a good little princess) I might implode.

4. Dude, seriously, I would call you a prince if you would close your eyes and sleep.

5. Seriously-seriously? Georgia rocked it at a doctor appointment on Tuesday. She used WORDS to let us know she was not exactly thrilled with the situation instead of breaking down or having a tantrum or even crying!! I was and am SO SERIOUSLY PROUD of her!

6. You know what I took seriously? That Y Fitness Challenge. A little brag? Our team won. And I came in 2nd place out of 41 people for most weight lost! Boo to the ya. Seriously.

7. Okay. Last thing. No, seriously. Fer realz. This is the last one. REALLY. I get it. I am a total nerdling.

Sum-Sum-Summertime!

For the first time since I was a young child I am, I think, looking forward to summer. Sure, there's always part of me looking forward to whatever season is on the horizon, but summer, historically, has been my least favorite of the four. I think that's changing! I think winter is fast becoming my least fave (though I definitely love snow regardless of the ranking). We've already had several triple digit days and Georgia hasn't been in school since Tuesday (nor will she go tomorrow) because the schools are all closing early because of the heat, and yet, I am not feeling disgusting and generally peeved as I have felt summers of yore. Not sure what it means, and I am sure it is not nearly as interesting to anyone else, but I note it and it feels significant to me because I REALLY have had difficulty with summers in the past. Like an inner shift.

We'll see if I still feel so blase about it after a few more days like this when the kids and I are all going a tad loco and running errands becomes solely a lesson in sweating buckets!

My general calm about this summer may have somethingi n part to do with our pool access, but it feels bigger than that. Speaking of the pool though, it's neat to watch how the kids progress in their comfortableness with the water. Neither kid seems to want to spend too much time in the kiddie pool when we are on that side of the fence. They tend to want to play with the other kids and toys instead. Georgia is BIG people watcher. It's so neat to watch her open up socially. It's difficult for her because she can't keep up in regards to communication (either talking TO other kids or catching their drift when they chitter chatter like little...well...kids!), but she stays right in the thick of it. Often she is right inside the playhouse with some of the big kids and she's got a big old grin on her face.

Today an older boy (maybe age 8) was in there with her and I was sitting to the side making sure all remained copecetic (G tends to grab when she wants someone's attention and other kids don't always like it). Anyway, he shouted something like "Let's make lots of noise!!!" while jumping up and down and flapping his arms. G thought this was HIGH-sterical and copied his movements. That brought other kids over and they all started acting silly.

G generally doesn't give a hoot about any of the kids saying anything like "No!" or "You can't do this or that." I don't mean to imply that they are saying that to her specifically/only, but you know how kids can be with one another. She'll just DO whatever it is she wants to do. Sort of like, "Um. Your silly rules don't apply to me." I can imagine it being flabbergasting (and probably annoying) to some kids at some point, but I am not going to worry about it right now. All the kids are just trying to figure out their footing in the social arena, G just does it a little differently. I can see the thoughts running through some of the other kids' minds while they try to "figure" G "out."

I wish I could describe the broadness of her smile when she is in there goofing around with the other kids, though. She's such a different kid from one moment to the next sometimes. No trace of the anxiety that can rear it's ugly head at the strangest times, when she is amidst a group of kids. She is an enigma, that girl!

Rainer is learning, too! Today he figured out that if he keeps his face pointing upwards he can reach the bottom of the side of the pool and sort of hover/bounce on the bottom. Sort of treading water, sort of floating. Unfortunately he figured it out about five minutes before the whistle was blown for the end of the pool tonight and he did NOT want to get out! Hopefully he'll be willing to try it again when we go back this weekend (if the weather cooperates), but I think he will. He's definitely not totally gung-ho about the water like some of the little fishie children you see, but he's gaining confidence and I hope that with little steps where he has success by the end of the summer he will take to it much more naturally.

G is doing great, too, but she doesn't quite have that self-preservation thing one needs in the water. She's close, I think, maybe if we can finagle something to bolster her confidence.

Oh, and another fun thing that has been happening more and more lately is R's imaginative play. Suddenly, over the past few weeks everything is a representation of something else, or has a voice, or he becomes these things, or feeds them, or bakes them, or plays them, or drives them! It's SO much fun. He's been "baking" cookies in his oven and he brings them over to be delicately and warns me they are hot. After breakfast this morning he brought me a cup full of drumsticks and told me they were plants and "Don't they smell good, Mommy?"

Maybe that's part of it. The summer this year. The kids are so much more interactive and fun and willing to do things like run around in the sprinkler and the kiddie pool like we did this morning. I like being with them. That doesn't answer the question as to why I have disliked summers for the last 20 years, but whatever it is, I'll take it. And I hope it lasts!

I wonder.

I don't know about you, but if you live around here, you too have been getting a fair amount of rain. And you know what? I am totallu enjoying it. My flowers are happy and we haven't had to turn the AC OR heat on in weeks. (We have yet to turn on the AC, actually, but by this time last year we had already turned it on.) Alex's b-day is May 4th and last year we had a picnic for him. It was so incredibly hot and the kids in attendance swam in the kiddie pool. It had already been hot for weeks (we knew enough in advance to tell them to bring their suits) and it was kind of uncomfortable out there. I remember.

So. I ain't complaining about the weather. I am rejoicing about it.

Tomorrow is Dumpster Day in our little village as well, which means we'll FINALLY have the chance to say s'long to some of the larger junk that's been accumulating in our itty bitty abode. Hoping to soon have a tag sale as well (but I admit I have been threatening that one for three years).

We're joining the pool this summer and I am looking forward to spending our afternoons and evenings with a cold dinner and pooltime.

School's out in a few weeks and speech camp will start up the very next week for Georgia. It dawned on my last week that I need to get my hands on Rainer's birth certificate (I'd imagine) because he'll be starting up school in the fall as well.

Everything is chugging along, the kids are growing up, life is good.

Which, per usual,  has me wondering the same ol' question I always seem to come to.

What else? What's next?

I say this not out of a sense of dissatisfaction, but rather out of this notion that my time will be opening up some and I want to be ready when it does.

So that's what I am trying to figure out there days.

What's next?

Babbling

Thank you, truly, to all the people who have commented or emailed me privately about my last post. My intention is to respond to you and if I haven't, please know it is only because we are going a little ya-ya over here. Try me again if you wish, I might need a kick in the pants. Sometimes (often lately) I leave my emails/comments as "unread" in my email inbox b/c I intend to get back to them, but then I just don't have the time. Although I read all of them and compose answers in my head. I really do care about and appreciate your taking the time to write, but have things competing for my time. I hope you won't take it personally.

It has been a trying few days. It's hard to know/understand what is precipitating what, but I am sure the stress of PTing is not exactly...helping. Any of us. We are getting such encouraging reports from school and we want to believe Georgia can do this, but we also don't want to sacrifice our family's hapiness in the process, so we are trying to strike a balance on this whole thing and figure out what works for us. Not sure just yet what that is going to look like. We have discussed going back to using pull-ups, but taking regular scheduled trips (i.e. once per hour) to the potty. This may sound like regression, but I almost wonder if it would make more sense because, honestly? G doesn't seem to care when she is wet. I think she notices it, but she doesn't get too upset. And as a result, she doesn't seem to really change her behavior to go use the potty. I was not really expecting that she would, but it certainly would be easier if she hated being wet!

One thing I am certain of is that this week she has learned how to sit and use the potty with a lot of success. The main problem is she is still going often when she is not on the potty.

It's a journey. And we're still feeling it out. In a BIG way we are training OURSELVES. It's a big deal to remember to take your child to the potty, to teach them that there are potties everywhere (at the Y, at the grocery store, etc...), and all the other stuff that goes along with it. We are far from over on this journey, but we may be taking a step back from the intensity we were at. I don't know. I might feel differently in the morning.

To add to the stress G seems to have some kind of a cold or something. She hasn't been ill in a long time so I shouldn't be surprised that there was one last hurrah before summer. That, combined with the PTing made for a...well, to be blunt...shitty weekend.

The stimming and yelling and general irritability is so reminiscent of that dark time when G first turned three that I have been meaning to write about for...oh...ever, that I am still kind of in shock. We're back there? Or are we? Maybe this won't last so long this time? Hope hope hope. What good is going to come out of it this time? What developmental leap? More speech? PT breakthrough? Something else?Have to remain positive.

Springtime seems to be the time when G's body just goes haywire. All her clothes get too small overnight, her feet sprout out of her shoes, and it can't be comfortable.

I need to--want to--focus on all the positives. She is talking SO MUCH MORE. She has SO many words. She can name so many things in her environment and slowly, but surely the phrases are coming more and more. She likes to tell us, "Play bedroom!" and "Stand up!" and will ask for her music, or a specific show, or "Animals book." She readily gives us big hugs and kisses and while she and Rainer drive each other nuts on a regular basis, they seek each other out as well.

::

Rainer is the little man of repitition. He has a one track mind and when he gets a thought in it he will ask you over and over and over about what ever it is until you answer. Usually twenty seven times. I mean, you have to ANSWER that often. He likes to "play soccer game" which means kicking the ball back and forth, and build with blocks. And he and Alex have a new routine where they "watch music" or "watch painting" which means they watch old Pink Panther cartoons together and snuggle on the couch. (There is a lot of music in the show...just think of the Mancini Pink Panther song...and apparently a lot of painting.)

::

My mind is racing a million miles a minute lately. I have so many ideas and feel so stunted.

We are starting a brushing schedule with G as part of her sensory diet. And I am really looking forward to spending as much time as possible in the pool soon. These kids need to move their bodies.

My to-do list is having babies.

And my class at church on UU just ended.

I have joined a poetry group at church, but I have only written (half written...it needs a lot of work) one poem so far.

I can see why people need respite care. And why people move home to be near family.

I am going to an all-day seminar on Saturday featuring a lot of "big wigs" in the DS world. Dr. Brian Skotko, Libby Kumin, etc...etc..I am glad that G's teacher and SLP have decided they also want to go.

Waiting on our IEP.

Should be reading this book right now.

Have to get G's x-ray done.

Uh-oh. This is turning into a to-do list.

We are making positive changes in our lives. I know that.

I look forward to a day soon when I can commune with nature. When I can lay back or hug the ground, or look up and see galaxies swirling above me in the nighttime sky.

I miss Vermont.

::

I kind of feel like I am going to crawl out of my skin.

That is, if I don't fall asleep first.

I could really use a roadtrip.

Haven't I Thrown Enough Money at This? Do I Have to Break My Thumb, Too?

My thumb is black and blue.

Mission Potty is going okay. We've gotten really encoruaging emails from the teacher and aide at school. G seems to be able to "produce" 80% of the time or so. It helps if you say "let me hear you tinkle." There are, without doubt, still accidents, and I don't think she totally gets it yet, but she's get-ting it. We'll get there. It may take a longlonglonglong (ad infinitum) long time, but I feel hopeful. And much less stressed about it. Somewhat over night. I mean, it's pee (mostly) and laundry. (And furniture....) But what're you gonna' do? Ya' know?

We nixed the timer yesterday (today is day four of the whole mission) because I wanted to attempt to just do this more intuitively. I think it's working well without the timer and we're going every 20-30 minutes. Leaning towards the 30 minute marker unless she's eaten or had a drink recently. I've read that even eating can stir up the bladder--so to speak--so we're going with that. She has had times where she's dry for an hour or seventy minutes or so, and other times where it's go go go within the space of twenty minutes. So still no REAL rhyme or reason.

Half the time she treats the whole routine as no big deal, but sometimes she gets REALLY mad about my wanting her to go sit and try. She will sit on the seat (which is much better than in the past where she physcially resisted), but she is vocal about it. (How cute is it when she does the sign for "stand up" and says it with such authority when she wants to stand up off that dang potty!?) Of course, I don't want it to be a negative experience, but she's easy to tick off. And, frankly, she has to learn. So I am mostly trying to just turn the attitude around as much as possible by being ultra silly and whatnot while we're going through the motions.

Let me tell you though, she's a tough crowd.

The teacher sent home PECs pictures which we have taped to the removeable lid on the potty with images for wet pants and dry pants. We are trying to get that whole idea through to her. What a reward dry pants are!

She is sort of willing to wipe (about half the time) and she will pull up her own pants (with a little help), and she LOVES to put that lid back on when she is all done.

Hence, my black and blue thumb.

It got in the way during one of her less-than-happy-to-be-sitting-on-this-pot moments and I almost thought maybe she chipped a bone! It swelled up quickly and turned black and blue. But the swelling has gone way down to almost nothing and now it's just a small bruise.

Wouldn't that be something?

Q: How'd you break your thumb?

A: Potty-training.

Follow-up response: Ummm......???

:)

By the way, for those of you interested these are all the potty accoutremants we have.

For the upstairs bathroom we have this.

We use this on the first floor (and most often).

And if that's not enough (because cleary we thought if we just threw money at the situation our kids would be potty trained (that, and no one was interested in the $2 Ikea potty seats and when you see your kid THAT freaked out about the potty, you tend to throw money around)) we got this for the car. Of course, neither of the kids are willing to sit on it (it's awfully low to the ground and has crinkly paper inserts), not that I have been brave enough yet to venture out anyway.

Potty, Potty, Potty, Potty...POT-TY! (Sung to the tune of that O'Jays song.)

Yeesh.

Well. That was...exhausting.

I just put Georgia on the bus. She had one accident this morning. It was one of the times when she didn't eek anything out on the potty at one time and I let it go another 20 minutes before trying again. Probably shouldn't have done that. Except, she had a second accident actually. RIGHT after I put her plastic cover on over her undies for the bus ride (we are not using them except for on the bus). She had just gone on the potty, so I almost wonder if she thought it was acceptible b/c it was the plastic cover. And of course, it happened just as the bus was pulligng up. I swear, if I have a coronary episode in the next few weeks it will have something to do with the dang bus.

So I white-knuckled my way through a clothing change (shoes and all) and got her out there.

I am about ready for a nap and we haven't done ANYTHING today. Oh, except go to the potty about seventy five times.

I didn't use marshmallows today. I opted to go with the sticker chart. I had of course known about that option, but G was never much interested in stickers. I think, though, it's because she didn't know what to do with them. Isn't that the condundrum with stickers after all?

Welp, turns out she is slightly (like . much) more interested in stickers when they have a place. And I wanted to keep track of successes and dry periods and misses anyway.

So the breakdown (because I know you are all on the edge of your seats) is this. She sat on the pot 9 times. 7 of 9 she peed. Twice she didn't. She also had two accidents (one correlating with the time she didn't go, one I THINK having to do with the plastic cover up).

I am too exhausted to give it a grade. I just hope the teachers are still on board by the end of the day.

***

Oh. And our fish died. I am actually pretty sad about it. I won Freddie (Frederick the Fair) *at* the Frederick Fair in October 2009! He was getting up there in age, so I know that's probably why he passed. But I wasn't expecting it. Georgia just learned how to say his name. The kids would both hang by his tank "talking" to him. Last night Alex was joking about the...ahem...long turd hanging out of his rearend and we laughed about Rainer yelling "Dangler!" Alex fed him his last meal. And as usual, before bed last night I said "Goodnight, Freddie" when I turned off his light.

This morning, from the kitchen, I didn't see him as I prepared breakfast. Freddie's tank is on the window ledge in the dining room. I thought maybe he was under his cave, but when I came over to turn on the light, say "Good morning, Freddie," and feed him, I saw him floating there.

He'd gotten quite big, in fact.

Poor Freddie.

He'll be missed.

Weekend Update

Ahhh, the weekend. Let's see...

We went to the Y this morning, but there was a wait list for the childwatch with five families ahead of us so we didn't end up staying. Instead we drove out to the Amish indoor market thinking we could pick up some fresh produce and maybe get a snack for the kids. It's sort of an Amish bizaar of sorts. Alex has been reminding me all day that our morning had quite the ironic twist because we started it with every intention of working out and ended up getting pecan sticky buns at the Amish market instead, but alas.

Actually, the kids were going a little gaga in the car on the way over and Georgia started saying "eat! eat!" with Rainer following suit, so when we got there we decided to sit down and order them a little meal. It wasn't even 11am, yet, but they were HUNGRY! This will end up sounding like a rather mundane little tidbit about our day, but what was so awesome about it was how much Georgia has been requesting things using words lately instead of just whining and/or using signs. She has been labeling things with sign for a long time and words more recently, but one of our goals has been to get her to start asking for things. Today, she most definitely did. First there was the "eat! eat!" then "hungry!" and the list went on to include "fries!" when we had offered her something other than fries, "pretzels" when we walked by a tasting table and so on. She also told us about a baby at another table, and said "thank you" to the waitress when she set down Georgia's food. Now. I know she says all these things, but this was so APPROPRIATE and PRACTICAL. It was really just so cool. Early in the day she had also said, "Play at the y."

And? She wasn't stressed out. Not about being in a crowded place, anyway. She was getting a little antsy and whiny because she was so incredibly hungry, but that's just normal hungry kid stuff. She didn't shy away from the waitress, she looked right at her, and she turned around in her seat to admire the baby at the other table.

Wow, just writing this stuff sounds so ho-hum, but I assure you, it's not! She is really coming a long way. I think it's our job to keep inching her out there and giving her chances to succeed.

*****

Now Rainer. Funny thing is that he is REALLY shy. He doesn't have the same anxiety that G has exhibited (except at the doctor's office), so it feels more manageable. But when the older couple at the booth next to us offered R their condiment bottle, Rainer stopped being the animated little sprite he was bring (when he was trying to steal their ketchup bottle) and ducked his head down and wouldn't look up. I remember that feeling SO well!

Also, a few weeks ago I mentioned that R was having some potty learning success. Predictably, as soon as I hit publish on the post he regressed back to his old routine. Started stressing out about where and when to go and so we took a big step back and let him know he could still use his diaper if he wanted to. He's young and we didn't want to bring on any extra anxiety about it. Today, though I will probably regret reporting it, I am happy to report we took a step towards the undies directions again in a MAJOR way. That is all I will say about that lest I lose some readers for being too graphic!

***

What else? Well, we're mostly hunkered down at home though the weather hasn't been too bad since Thursday. The roads just aren't well plowed and the stores are a mess of people getting ready for the upcoming storms they are prediciting, so we are mostly hanging out around the house. We're bored, but I feel like I am in such a better place than I was last year. The kids are at such a fun stage and I swear they make me laugh a hundred times or more a day!

***

Funny thing happened at the store a little while ago when I did venture out though. I was walking out when the woman in front of me dropped her glove. I immediatelty bent down to pick it up and handed it to her saying "Here you go!" She mumbled, rather sternly, "I could have done it myself!"

You see, the woman was in a wheelchair, so I guess she had some misgivings about me helping her because as she said, she could have done it herself. The thing is though? I didn't pick it up for her because she was in a wheelchair, I picked it up for her because I am the type of person who picks things up for people when they drop them. Wheelchair or no. I honestly didn't even consider the wheelchair, I didn't have time to, she dropped the glove, I bent down to pick it up.

This is the one time I am glad I had a quick line to use because I felt bad. I didn't want her to think I thought her incapable. I am the child of a woman who spends the majority of her life in a wheelchair, I also have a child with a disability who will probably be deemed incapable through much of her life, when she decidely WILL be capable. So I said, "You would have done the same for me," and smiled at her.

Thankfully, she smiled back. I didn't make a big deal out of it, I just walked on my way.

It's one of those things that makes you think though. Are her defenses on high alert? Am I too sensitive? Do I really want to be the sort of person who doesn't help because I think it through too much?

I have learned in most situations it's best to ask if someone needs help before jumping right in to do it, but this was one of those things where, you know, someone drops change, it scatters across the floor, and you bend down to help them pick it up. There was no added message or intention behind the deed. It was an impulse.

I dunno. No biggie, just something to mull over.

***

Lastly, I dreamt last night that Alex and I were having a recommiment ceremony. Lots of funny parts to the dream, but one of the best parts was that Iggy--my old beloved pup--was in it, and I got to pet him and say hi. It really was like he was there with me for a spell.

Also, I think one day I would like to have a recommitment ceremony. I think it's a lovely gesture.

And...I want to go to Italy on our next honeymoon!

So it begins...

Grab This Button

Day One

I have to organize my brain.

First things first, thank you to everyone who has signed up. I was worried, given my relative absence from the blogging world of late, that I wouldn’t have much interest this year, but thanks to the diligent advertising from you bigwigs of the blogging world, I think the word has spread.

Welcome to everyone, newcomers and veterans alike, to the 4th Annual 31 for 21 Blog Challenge! I know life can get in the way, but I hope you will try to post something (even if it is a picture post--which are sometimes the best posts) everyday.

 Blogging is 20% of your grade. And you WILL be tested on this. 

I kid.

 Now. What the heck am I going to write about?

I have a list of topics I’ve been hoping to get to on this here public (eep!) diary. Some have set in Post-It purgatory for hours, some days, some…I hate to admit it, but I betcha’ I have a list floating around the pile on my desk from YEARS ago. In fact, I know I do. Stuck to the wall of my computer hutch are the words "the leaves the day Rainer was discharged." I've been meaning to write about that for almost two years!

Alas, I am at the library and I can’t consult my lists. It was raining to rival Noah’s record today and I needed to get out of the house (yikes, I am totally giving it away that I am drafting this post a day early! (That is TOTALLY allowed, by the way.)). There’s something about the library, just in it’s bookiness that makes it easier for me to think. It reminds me of writing my Plan of Concentration in college. Back in those days I LIVED in the computer lab of the science building on campus--this was before personal computers and certainly, the internets, were de rigeur, folks. Am I dating myself?

Around me this evening, there are people typing, reading, looking through magazines. An older gentleman just cursed at his laptop. I tell you, it brings me back!

There is a comforting hum from the HVAC system.

But what do I want to write about?

I’ll tell you some of the things I hope to have the time (and energy) to touch on this month.

1. Sorry to leave you hanging on that whole discriminatory preschool fiasco. I will follow up on that.

2. I went to a toilet-learning seminar hosted by a highly respected behavioral therapist from KKI and I am totally going to give you her step-by-step tips on how to get your kiddo going on the potty…er…step one, call it a toilet. (More on this.) By the by, I am not giving away any secrets or anything, this was a free talk she did for our DS parent group. She speaks to people like us regularly and I am sure she would be happy for us to share info. In fact, she invited us to.

3. I want to talk about Rainer this month. After all, it IS his month…his birthday just happens to fall on the last day of it! As I alluded to, my goal is to FINALLY write up his birth story!

4. I have a lot to share from the inclusion training I have been doing. It’s a journey, this whole thing. Really wrapping my brain around it. Learning how to make it work. Figuring out how to stave off the panic attacks after going to local SECAC meetings (that’s Special Education Citizen’s Advisory Council (I think, I always forget about that last ‘c’) for those of you keeping score) and discovering just how clueless some folks in the local administration are about what inclusion even MEANS. But truthfully, I am really learning, myself about what GOOD inclusion means, and LOOKS like, too.

5. UDL, baby.

6. And yeah, those panic attacks. It’s not just a joke. I have them. I might talk about that fun topic as well. We'll see. It might give me hives. One thing? My daughter comes by her anxiety honestly!

No doubt some of these topics will come to fruition, while others will meet their destiny by the wayside for now, again, you know. Certainly I’ll phone it in at least once—October is BUSY and I am traveling two out of the…however many weekends. So there will be pictures, which will appease the grand folks, at least, I think.

Blogging. It’s what’s for dinner. Enjoy!

Insomnia

• It might be the heat. It might be my husband's alarm going off at 4am. I can't sleep past it the last few nights. It makes for some tough mornings.
• I wish I had categorized all my posts from the beginning. In my downtime (ha!) I may try to go back and fix that. (Read: that will likely never happen to any great extent.)
• Been thinking about the ol' blog again and wondering in what direction I want to take it. In a moment of paranoia, I was considering password-protecting the whole thing. I think I may at least change directions a little bit.
• Talking about taking your blog in a new direction on your blog is like telling people your dreams. No one REALLY cares, do they?
• I can't wait until summer school.
• Hindsight is...

T'ings

1. For Father's Day I commissioned artist, Michael Johnson to paint a picture of Rainer. I had a painting of Georgia done for Alex when G was about a year, so I decided to have one done from the same time in R's life as well. I didn't plan it, but in each picture the kids are wearing denim overalls, so they really look good together. I still have to take a picture of the new portrait and I will post it when I do, but something really cool that happened was that Michael Johnson decided to use one of the pictures of Rainer that I sent to paint a picture for a big exhibition he wanted to enter. So, we actually got one painting of Rainer and a print of another painting Michael did of Rainer (I can't, unfortunately afford the original)--the one he had in the show, which was seen by over 100,000 people!! Here you can see Michael's process on the exhibition piece.

2. My in-laws were visiting for a long weekend and they left last night. True to habit, the kids were animals today adjusting back to normal old boring life. I do not intend to stay home with them all day again while Georgia is on break. We will DEFINITELY be going to the Y or library or running errands for the rest of her "summer break".

3. I am speaking on a parent panel tomorrow evening for Q & A with a bunch of psych. grad students at a local university. Talking about advocacy and family dynamics. It reminded me that we use to have college students from UVM to our house to interview us for a class when we lived in VT. I hope I have enough to contribute!

4. I saw Kathie Snow speak on Saturday. I am still processing everything she had to say. I am fully immersed in this world of inclusion right now, which is a far cry from what my hopes for the future are. I don't want there to be a NEED for inclusion advocacy training, I just want my child and others like her to be included. I think I am equally passionate and jaded at the moment, but luckily the jaded part wanes regularly at this point. For now.

5. I am going to the NDSC Convention in Orland next month. A sort of lucky, last minute(ish) trip. I even got a room in the conference hotel. Are YOU going? I am spending three nights alone in a resort hotel where I will get to learn all sorts of things and see/meet people from all over the country that I have been wanting to meet!

6. Disabilities advocacy has been both a passion and a burden. I have to admit. It's something I care so very deeply about and something, which, frankly, I can't believe more people are not making a part of their life's mission. I don't mean it to define me, and I hate to say that my child's genetic make-up alone has spurned me on in this direction (though, I wonder if I would have ever discovered this path had it not been for that pesky chromo-. I am not convinced that I wouldn't have eventually found myself here, really, but of course I have a personal gain in working out the extreme inequality and injustice in our society today). But I'd be lying if I didn't say that sometimes I wish I didn't live in disability world. Sometimes I wish I could be President of the Board of our community association and talking about things like greenification instead of...oh...you know, the risk of our children being left behind to be brought up in the shadows of other people. But, then I think about that potential fate and I know there is nothing I can do that would make more sense than to fight for people like my child.

7. What WOULD I be doing with my time if I were not involved with Disability World? Reading more fiction. Maybe relaxing more. Not reading federal case law and preparing for my next IEP.

8. Speaking of potties. Oh? Didn't I mention potties? I have no idea how to go about potty training the kids. Georgia more specifically, but really, either of them. It is just NOT intuitive for me. I hate everything about it. And I want it done. I want Georgia to be allowed to go to camp next summer and not be disallowed because of her diaper. I would gladly pay someone to take care of this for me. For both kids. It's really hard. Wah. Wah. Wah. But really, G just doesn't seem to give a flying poo (pun intended) about it. Advice?

9. Blah. That just made me grumpy.

10. Both kids have a dentist appointment this week. R's first. Boy, that didn't make me feel any better.

11. Gotta keep on fighting the good fight. Good night.