Unringing the Bell

Officially the First People I Met From the Internets

Jessica and Joey! (Seen here with Alex and Georgia at the B & N reading tonight.)

And to think, J and J are even cuter in person! Fer realz! It was great meeting you guys!

We had to drive an hour to get there, and Georgia slept through the entire thing and I was nervous to meet anyone from the internet because you know, we're all safe and snug behind our keyboards and it's weird to come out from behind them, but I am glad we went. It was well-attended...I'd say about 40 people attended...more maybe? I am not good with that kind of thing...and it felt good to see other regular ol' families who happen to have kids with DS.

I asked Alex "So, how did that feel? It's probably the first time you have ever been in a room with that many people who have Down syndrome, eh?" (It was true for me too after all.) He chuckled and said, "It was kind of fun!"

That was enough for me!

My sister, niece (Julsey-bop), dad and step-mom all came out too which was really nice and my dad even took us out to dinner afterwards at Boobie--I mean--Ruby Tuesdays. How much more all-American can ya' get?

Feeling much better after my little falling apart scenario yesterday. Let's just leave it at the fact that G hasn't been eating very well, this all happening right after our PT mentioned that now is the time when she might stop eating well which would be a sign of more serious heart failure, coupled with the fact that our pediatrician was not taking it lightly when I called him re: the not eating (we went in to see him today and G has lost a couple ounces but he is not too worried yet and we are keeping a close watch on things), combined with being away from home without Alex, and at my sister's house, which while awesome in its own way can also be stressful. My sister's family, with two kids and all, is just much louder than what I am used to. And ok. I'll admit it, the haircut probably got to me a little too.

All that in addition to not eating much and an impending snowstorm with me an hour and twenty minutes from home AND the doctor turned me into an uncontrollable sobbing mess.

I don't know what hit me. G wasn't eating (after not eating hardly anything all day), all of a sudden she was VERY upset, I felt like I couldn't get away from everybody to just go someplace calmly with G and try to get her to eat and the nurse had just told me the doctor wanted G to come in for a weight check in the morning. Next thing I knew I was walking out to the living room clutching a crying Georgia where my family were enjoying a buffet-style dinner and I was saying "I'm gonna' go home." Followed by these strange sobs. They just came out. And I'm all, "I just want to go home. I just want to go home."

Suffice it to say I thoroughly freaked everyone out and my poor brother-in-law rushed up to me and hugged me saying "It's going to be ok. She's going to be ok." I think HE almost cried I was such a mess! And my nephew was so sweet, he said "I'll put on my shoes. What do you need? I will carry your stuff out to the car." (And he's only 10!) And my niece was asking my dad "What's wrong with Tricia?" Over and over.

Well, considering the fact that I don't take public displays of emotion lightly, it MUST have been out of my hands. And needed. I feel much better today. I just had a momentary lapse in ability to hold it all together.

So. That's that. On to more important issues.

I got pregnant one month after I started working at my job. I didn't yet have a real good work wardrobe and I decided to hold back on buying anything b/c I was just going to get all preg-fat anyway. Well now, I am not back to my pre-preg size, nor do my preg clothes fit anymore (not that I'd want to wear those stretchy monstrosities anyway) and I have to be back to work in a week. I'm broke because I have been on maternity leave and I am hoping I won't have this kind of job when we leave in the spring (you know, all office-y and such)...so what's a gal to do??? I have to pull together a few outfits. On a budget. And ideally things that I won't absolutely hate to wear when I am not in an office. And oh, yeah. My weight is continuing to change...and hopefully these clothes I'd have to buy now won't fit me any longer very soon. (Because they will be too dang big, of course! Although with the stress I have been feeling this week...nary a point has been counted. Ugh.)

These are important life issues, people! Im. Port. Ant.

Woot. Woot.

I am happy to report that I was approved for 3/4 time at my new job starting in the fiscal year (July 1, 2006) which means I will be moving from 20 to 30 hours/week and due to their generous hourly rate I can quit the cafe (which I am really only happy about because I WORK too much and not because I don't like the cafe). Do you know what this means??? I will be making more money than I make now working 6 days a week in only 4. HELLO 3 DAY WEEKENDS EVERY WEEK BEGINNING IN THE SUMMER! I haven't been THIS excited about a job situation in a LONG time.

Go, me.

I Wanna' Marry Myself

Our apartment is at a balmy 60 degrees and smells deliciously of green peas. After several days of refusing to turn on the heat, I persuaded my husband to let us keep the theromostat on 60, and it was a RELIEF to wake up and not feel all of my muscles constrict upon rolling out of bed and hitting a sheet of cold air. The weather, to say the least, has been nothing short of bi- if not tri-polar. Today we swam through rain, sun, wind, more sun, more rain, a near blizzard, and sun sun sun in time for setting and though it's still chilly out, Alex, Iggy and I enjoyed a half hour tromp around the high school yard as the sun played off the wet grass in the fields. Our team henceforth is now officially the Willimantic Whippets.

Alex has supper simmering on the stove and Zappa on the stereo. I had to stay late at work for a Board Meeting which had me feeling a bit bi-polar myself. It's not the first meeting since starting my new job in which I've felt a bit mixed. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy it, I just feel a bit of a hack or something. To think, mere months ago I was in a very different work environment, and even still I sling lattes 2-3 days a week. It's interesting to go from egg slinging to money-talking to art-making to quiet little nerd to newlywed to small-town politico to everything else I am and have yet to become. I suppose it means I am versatile. Diverse? But in a way, it makes me feel like I am of so many minds. So many groups that I associate with and feel at ease around and enjoy the company of would work like oil and water together. It makes me feel like I am not quite whole sometimes. Or like I am hiding some other part of my personality. Though it is not intentional.

Who IS the real Tricia?

Will the real Tricia T. please stand up? Please stand up?

I suppose maybe it doesn't merit any real discussion, other than that I feel like I am juggling all my selves. I wonder if there is, in fact, some way to marry all these Tricias. I wonder what would happen.

First Name Basis With the Mayor

Thanks for the well wishes, folks! Work went well and I was introduced to all the folks in the town hall and read up on all the deets on the sitch. Much less tired after a day at the office than at day at the cafe, but still zonked and time for bed!

Thanks again. I really do appreciate it your kind words and I hope (I think) I will be much happier here on out!

No Rest for the Weary

I have been rolling along from bed to work to bed again and not packing and basically praying for the day when we are in the new place and I am comfortably at my new job. Should be soon, I hope, as I start the new job in about an hour and twenty. I'm in the middle of a ten day work stint and won't have a day off until Sunday which is the day we plan to move, so blogging will be sporadic at best. Then, of course, we have to set up the apartment and the computers in the new digs, so who knows what will happen. I hope I won't lose you in the interim.

I am nervous about work. First day jitters. Not to mention I have no REAL idea what to expect. I've read up on the company and I am looking forward to working there and I am confident we will get along just splendidly. I think it's just that I haven't had a job like this since I worked at MC.

I just slathered my feet (always dry at this season, why IS that?) with Zim's Crack Creme and I now smell like Arnica and Aloe. Slightly summery-suntan lotion, kinda' hippie granola. Hmmmm...I hope it doesn't come off too strong.

Positive thoughts!

OMG!!!!!!!!

I just got the call. I GOT THE JOB!!!!! I start on Tuesday! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYA
YAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYYAAYYAYAYAYAYAYA!

Flip Flop

Turns out, I didn't NOT get that job I had interviewed for. Instead, the hiring was delayed because of a trip those folks had to take to Washington, D.C. to meet with senators about more funding for this project they are working on. (I don't want to give away too many details and jeopardize myself and/or my potential job. Suffice it to say, it's a good project.)

Anyhow, out of the blue on Tuesday I got a call-back about coming in for a second interview. Well, I had the interview this morning and I think it went well and on top of that I was able to see more about what I would be doing and also see that it's something I really want to do. I would be working in a two-person office (myself and the executive director) and what's good, I think, is I got to the banter level with her which is a good sign that she and I would work well together. I think I answered her questions and scenarios well and I even presented my own questions which I think she was impressed with and which opened up the conversation to even more topics.

What's more, is she told me they are in discussions to turn this job (currently a part time offering) into full time. She wanted to make sure that would be OK with me. With me?! Of course it would be OK with me! They are waiting to see if there would be funding, but it sounds like there might be, eventually.

Anyway, I have to wait until later today or tomorrow to know the results of the second interview and she told me she would contact me either way. I am asking you now, Internet friends, to think positive for me. I really need this opportunity, I really want it and it would really help me get my life, my career, my goals back on track. Would you be so kind as to cross a finger or two for me? Thanks.

In other news, thanks too for indulging me in my goofy side (what with the photos I've been posting). It's been a good release. After all, I am a huge dork at heart.

One Track Mind

After writing my last post this morning, I drove into work with one thought on my mind. I want to be the boss and the landlady...when will that happen?

Baking went well. Got out a few hours early even, so I think the hub and I are going to travel up north for the afternoon/evening. Swing by Brattleboro, stop in the tea lounge maybe, and if we can get in touch with Alex's parents, stop by for a visit. Tra-la...

Why is it?

When you apply for a job (and worse, when you actually get called in for an interview, go to the interview, sit before a person (or panel) and answer questions about yourself and your abilities and why you deserve the job--bascially whoring your talents) the potential employer doesn't make an effort to inform you that you were not selected for the position?

Common courtesy does not exist in the workplace I suppose. At least, not in many of them.

Why is it we prostrate ourselves in front of people we wouldn't want to share a convivial lunch date with?

Money, I suppose.

And what is money?

Security.

A sandwich.

Facing Facts

I don't think I was meant to have a "regular" job. And what is my insistence that there is such a thing? I don't know. I think I may have lost my confidence. I cannot envision myself in so many "normal" jobs that I once thought I could do. Maybe I have been away from "real" work for so long now I can't see myself sitting at a desk and doing "regular" "normal" "real" tasks.

But hold on.  Why do I deem jobs in office-settings as "normal"?  Perhaps it's the 9-5 mentality. Society does tend to look at the 9-5 as the norm. It's been a long time since that has been my norm. I have tended towards the night shift, the traveling shift, the ratty clothed shift. But who wants to wear fancy clothes and uncomfortable shoes all day? I know. Lots of people. But what if that's just not me? I mean, I am not a slob, thought I do tend towards the leisurely.I think of it more as natural. Comfortable. Regular. I mean it when I say I am the least fancy person I know. And working in the frame shop and at the newspaper where news ink was a regular accessory has spoiled me. Working crazy hours and spending times in the woods alone have morphed my sensibilities.

The thing is, I COULD do some many of those "normal" jobs. I could ace them, rock them, roll them and put them to sleep. But at what cost? Boring conversation and automation. Uncomfortable shoes??

If I don't make something of myself soon I'll be lost. I don't think anyone else is ready to take any chances on me.