I feel like we just took the next step to becoming true Baltimoreans--or, as the natives say, Bawlmers. We took the kids to their first Major League Baseball game at Camden Yards to see the Orioles play Tampa Bay. We didn't get to stay for the whole game--the kids just weren't up for that--but I just checked the score and the Os won!I kind of feel like WE won, too.
We got there a little early so we'd be sure to find ample parking. (Alex scoped out the best spots beforehand.) We also knew to grab the kids their hot dogs right outside the park for $2.75 cheaper per dog. And our tickets, thanks to Georgia's baseball league, were comps! What a great way to test the waters--for free (ish)!
We weren't sure how it would go--a night game with two kids who are noise sensitive and all. But we did it and I am so glad we did. It wasn't without a couple minor glitches, but it was mostly a wonderful way to spend the night before Mother's Day. I had a blast. I would love to go again! It feels like progress, like we're getting somewhere with these kiddos.
The kids both fell asleep in the van on the way home and when I carried Rainer inside he mumbled, "I just need to rest on the couch." After getting him into his PJs (he insisted on wearing the shirt he got at the game) I brought him upstairs to bed and he told me, "I just need to close my eyes."
We done tuckered them out!
I feel good. With a child who used to (and sometimes still does) have a hard time just going to the grocery store, I think we got to a point where we stopped doing a lot of extra things because the risks seemed too high (costly, frustrating, high anxiety....) if it didn't work out. I know it sounds like a small thing, so many people take going to a baseball game with a 5 1/2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old for granted. But for us, it's no small potatoes.
Go us.
And go Os!
First MLB game!
These pictures were taken before they donned their Orioles tees and foam fingers (given to us by G's baseball team).
1.The project is moving along, though it's had a few days hiatus here and there. Once for a houseguest (hello, MIL!), then because Rainer and I caught the crud. Tonight I won't be painting because for some reason my back is KILLING me. My lower back, feels like I can't stand up straight. Need to do some stretching and maybe get into a chiro if this doesn't go away. But, in case I led you astray, dear reader (hello out there???), we are not, in fact, painting that old hutch (by the by, Alex thinks I have a hutch problem--says I call EVERYthing a hutch, but the truth is we have a computer hutch, a tv hutch, and now, a dining room hutch)...ANYway...we are not painting that old...er...HUTCH...white. That's just the primer. We are, in fact, painting it green. Green! And not just any ol' green. Bell Pepper green. It is going to be bright. I am hoping it will read a little country, a little quirky. I already bought some clearance knobs for it at Target the other day, but I happened into Anthropologie today, and well...I don't think this hutch will work unless we get some of those AMAZING KNOBS! (Even though I will have to buy one or two a month to be able to afford them! Sheese! I need to go into the glass and ceramic KNOB business!)
2. I happened into Anthropologie because I was going to get my haircut at the mall. When I got home Rainer got a HUGE smile across his face because I got my hair cut really short. Now, it's not as short as his--we shaved his down to 5/8th of an inch a week or two ago--but it's short. He was thrilled. "Now we match, Mommy! Now you are shorter!!" and then, "Does this mean now you can't reach things that are up high high high like me????" Hahhaha silly bug.
3. Georgia KONKS out at 7pm lately. Like, peel her off the floor tired. Limp noodle. She hasn't napped for about 8 months or so (and even then it had been intermittent at best for over a year), but 7pm rolls around and that girl is ready to hit the hay. (She went through a rough sleep/wake cycle this fall which I NEVER hope to relive with 4am wakings and whatnot, but she has generally been a great sleeper.) She is SO cute during this time. Snuggly, giggling when she uses her toothbrush to brush her stuffed elephant's teeth, smiling up a storm. I love that girl!
4. That said. That girl has been giving me angina lately. She wants to get into EVERYTHING. If it's possible for a kid to both start listening better AND start being more independent-minded at the same time, it is happening! I want more of both, really, but I hope the listening starts to coincide more!
5. There's more I want to talk about with G and her behaviors, but that will probably deserve it's own post.
6. Rainer has been WAY into dancing lately. He is constantly asking us to put the "black song on with the white letters" on youtube. It is just some random recording of Trans Siberan Orchestra playing that famous (and kind of annoyingly cloying) Christmas song. You know the one. He dances to it OVER and OVER and OVER. See?
He is a little imp.
7. Anyhoodle tonight he told Alex he was going to teach him how to dance. He actually has a "signature dance move" that he calls "Biz Bah." He told Alex to stand up, but his hands on the ground "like this"cross the ankle of one foot behind the back of his other knee and then move it back and forth. "Biz Bah!" It was hilarious hearing him break it down for us. Then he taught us another dance move, pulled up the chair, sat down, and said, "Now I'll watch you do it." Just like a little teacher. After we did it like the proudest little dance mom he said, "You did it, Mommy! You learned the dance!"
Here he is teaching Alex the "Biz Bah."
8. He also has a dance move he calls "My one hundreds."
9. I am seriously thinking we need to get him into a breakdancing, or capoeira class. He also loves watching those dances on youtube. I have yet to find a local-enough class although there's a great looking capoeira class in DC for littles. I wish it were closer!!! But maybe we'll find a breakdancing class--he already has the cardboard (puzzle) down in the pic above!
Earlier this week, after helping my daughter climb out of her car seat and out of the back of the van, I tucked her arms one at a time into the straps of her little black L.L. Bean backpack with her name embroidered across the back of it. The backpack is black, because if you ask her, it's her favorite color, and despite my asking at least fifteen times she always requested that color over the lime green, turquoise or pink I had my eye on.
After she and her brother exchanged their good-byes and their "see ya' later!"s and I pressed the button on the keyfob for the door to slide shut, she and I walked across the street, and joined up with the other students lining up for their morning at school. At school we are greeted by "Hi, Georgia!"s and "Hi, Georgia's Mommy!"s and when Georgia recognizes her friends--IF she does while she is in her own eager little hop-skip world down the path to the school building--she waves exaggeratedly at them and says their names. She knows all of their names, and has since the early weeks of school.
This week, even the sight of the huge dead crow that had met it's demise with no doubt a large thud when it flew into one of the classroom windows high above the entryway where Georgia and I meet her aide every morning, couldn't suffocate the disarming sense of pride and accomplishment I felt for my daughter on the warmer than average December morning.
She was going to school. She had a pep in her step. She was wearing her backpack on her back like the other kids! (One of those little victories felt by the parents of sensorily-quirky kids like mine.) And when I let go of her hand, and she walked up to Ms. W turned around and smiled, waving, and said "Bye-bye, Mommy" before walking into the school building to start her day, I knew I wanted to keep blogging.
There are so many little things I want to record.
I'll surely be a little more cautious about what I have to share, but I don't want to stop. Out of the over 10,500 comments I've ever received on this blog, less than a handful of them have ever caused me any negative concern. And I don't want them to define this experience for me.
This evening, peeling back the foil wrappers from the Hershey's Kisses we were unwrapping for the Peanut Butter Blossom cookies Rainer and I were making, he looked up at me and said, "I like doing teamwork with you, Mommy, because."
Lately, he ends a lot of sentences that way. "Because." There needn't ought to be much of any further explanation anyway.
At night--and other times, actually--he tells me "I love you and I like you because." It's become our little thing.
There is no reason. Just because. Not only do we love each other. We like each other, too. That feels remarkable. I hope it will last.
Some things you want to do just because.
Because your son likes "doing teamwork" with you, and because your daughter carries her own backpack and says "Bye-bye, Mommy" before starting her school day.
Why wouldn't I want to write about those things?
Why wouldn't I want a record?
Why wouldn't I want to share them with the world?
We've been working on teaching the kids mine and Alex's names, our last name, and my cell phone number, in the event that they should ever become separated from us and should they need to know the answers to those questions. It's going a little more slowly for Georgia--as we expected it would--but I often catch Rainer singing the little tune we taught him with my phone number as he goes about his daily activities. Even though it's going a little more slowly, though, Georgia is getting it.
Both kids when they are addressing us, will sometimes get our names confused. I can't tell you how often one or the other of the kids will say "Da-Mommy," to me, or "Ma-Daddy" to Alex.
I really had a good chuckle yesterday though when Georgia attempted to say hi to me. She ran up to me excitedly and said, "Hi Dad-Hi Ma-Hi-Trish-Hi MOMmy!"
So yeah, it's sinking in.
Our newest bit of news is that Georgia is getting glasses. We went to the eye doctor yesterday and over the last two years Georgia went from "She'll probably need glasses one day," to "She's REALLY near-sighted!"
We kind of figured. She's started squinting a lot when looking at things across the room.
A friend helped me wrangle the kids at the optician's office today while we got Georgia fitted for her new glasses. I feel mixed about the whole thing. Mostly, I'm kind of just like "Whatever. She needs glasses. Big whoop! I have them, her dad has them, every one in our families other than Rainer (who, I should mention, feels TOTALLY on the outs and wants a pair of his own in the WORST way) now has them. It'll help her see!" But there's a teeny tiny little part of me that aches over it. The TEEEEEENIEST smidgen. Because we'll be covering up her face, and the bridge of her nose that I kiss regularly.
We ordered her glasses today though, and in ten days or so they'll be in. It ought to be an adventure. Getting her to wear them. But we're up for it, I guess.
And in two days, this little gal, who 1822 days ago cracked my world wide opened only to help me find a tiny little pearl in amongst my own guts, will be five years old. I can hardly believe it!
We've come a long way. I hope we have a long way to go.
It's Sunday. Which means we are BUSY! Gone are the days of lollygagging around (although, come on', I mean, I am pretty sure those days were gone the day after Georgia was extubated after heart surgery--before that, she was willing to lollygag a fair amount (although "lollygag" probably isn't a fair assessment)). It's true though, that while some would harken back to day one of their child's life when lollygagging became exctinct (at least for a little while), I think we stopped lollygagging after G's surgery. (You know, besides all those...oh....NICU and PICU stays, and the early intervention hullabaloo, and the...well...the list goes on.)
Anyhow. I digresss. I meant to talk about TODAY. Or, rather Sundays. In general. They're busy!
In addition to starting her pre-k class in the public school a few weeks ago, Georgia also started attended Religious Education classes at our church in their pre-k program. I am happy to report it's going well! (Although, she did end up not going today because she wasn't feeling well.)
Our church is an incredibly open and accepting and inclusive place and I love that Georgia is not the only "quirky" child there. Nor is she the only child with Down syndrome! In fact, the pre-k teacher is a friend of mine who also happens to have a daughter about Rainer's age who has DS. She and Rainer are in the nursery together on Sunday mornings. In fact, I specifically asked this woman (who is also a special educator) if she would be willing to teach in G's pre-k class this year. Parents are expected to volunteer in some level in Religious Ed when their kids are in the program and since she knew she was going to have to put in hours somewhere, and because she is my friend, and because I believe she cares about Georgia, she agreed. I didn't want to do it, simply because I know G does better if I am not right there, but I have already promised her that I will step up next year when her daughter is the right age for RE.
But I don't mean to imply that the only reason G is accepted is because there are other quirky kids, and kids with DS, and a special needs mom teaching the class. Our church is very welcoming and they didn't bat an eye when I asked about signing Georgia up. (I want to clarify that I wasn't asking if she could sign up because of DS, more because I wasn't sure what age it started.)
For my part, I am now a teen youth advisor. And while it eats up a lot of our Sunday morning I am really truly enjoying being around these kids every week. They are thoughtful and talented and creative and a lot of fun.
For anyone interested in just what UU is, there is a great resource here. It's 100 Questions that non-UU members ask about Unitarian Universalism. But to put it somewhat more concisely, the way our Reverand has described it is that UUism is about "right relationships" not "right religion."
I have been a member of our church for a little over two years. I joined when Rainer was about 9 months old. At the time, I needed--desperately--some alone time. It seems funny to go to a congregation when one needs alone time, but it worked for me. I could go to a service and listen...or not. (Although I almost always listened.) I could just be with other people, but participate as much or as little as I wanted. I knew I wanted to raise my kids in this church almost immediately. I met a lot of other moms and dads through a playgroup a (now) friend organized back in the early days of my going there and eventually joined the choir. I only stayed on the choir for one year, but joined the small group ministries (called Chalice Circles) and this year I find myself facilitating the group I joined back then.
I will admit that A wasn't as into going as I was in the beginning. And frankly, back then, I was glad to leave them all behind and have my own "thing." But I am pretty sure--as he doesn't complain about it--that A has grown to appreciate the church as well. He knows how important it is for our kids to have a base like this, for Georgia AND Rainer. The services run the gamut from the sacred to the profane, spirtuality to science, and everything in between. Today's service was about Jonah, but I happen to know that on the 16th we are discussing paganism. And frankly, I think A likes singing the hymns, and sitting there for a whole hour while someone else entertains the kids. (I have to admit, that alone is worth the price of admission.)
Now, working with these teenagers--all of whom have been raised since early childhood as UUs--and seeing how open and honest and welcoming and special they are. I know that I have made the right decision twisting my husband's arm to get him to come along for the ride. (Though really, it didn't take that much twisting.)
I am going to stop here lest this start to sound like evangelizing. That's really not my bag. I just wanted to write something about my church because it has become a HUGE part of my life. Of OUR life. It's a big part of how we include Georgia. Include as in...just living our life. In the world. Together. Like families do.
Today a friend, another mom, emailed me and told me her son was asking where Georgia was because she wasn't at RE this morning.
What a day we've had--an awesome way to start the month! Look at it, it's 10:30pm and I am only just now getting around to my first post for the challenge! Let that be only evidence of the full life we lead and not a suggestion that I am not into the blogging. I am committed! And I am so excited by the number of you folks who seem to be as well.
Our day started EARLY this morning with the advent of...wait for it...HOCKEY SEASON!
And guess who is the one in our family who will be playing this year?
Our 4-year-old little missus!
(Coach Jimmy helps Georgia test out the ice for the first time. Luckily mom has cell phone with her to take crappy picture!)
That's right, Georgia is going to play hockey this year with The Baltimore Saints, an adaptive hockey team. She is going to suit up in all the gear with skates and pads and a helmet and a jersey that even has her name on it and her very own Baltimore Saints jacket!
I can't wait to tell you all about it. And I will. I can't promise that hockey won't come with some struggles (um...hello...this is for the next six months of our lives and includes being at the rink by 7:15am every Saturday(!!) to say nothing of the fact that Georgia doesn't love stuff on her head (e.g. a helmet)), but we're going to give it a real try. The family who started it is incredible. Georgia seems interested. And I really feel...
welcomed.
*****
One nice thing about having to be up and at 'em so early is that we were then rearing to go. We did so much today and STILL managed to get naps in. (And boy, did we need them!)
We went to an PTA event at G's school (more on this (school in general) to come as well), and this evening we went to a party with some friends from church where all the dads played music, the kids played games and the moms? Well...we hung out, sipped warm spiced wine, and talked.
HEAVEN!
We weren't always able to do this stuff in the recent past. Georgia's anxiety really sort of put the damper on a lot of things.
But...(knock wood, throw salt, cross all appendages) it seems...to be...abating.
Convo #1
Me: Hi, Georgia.
G: Hi, how are you?
Me: I'm good. How are you?
G: Good.
Convo #2
After a bath tonight, G came down to find the kids' friend Ruby visiting while her Mom works out. She ran up to her and waving in her face said, "Hi, Ruby!" Ruby said "hi." Then Georgia ran to the playroom door and said "Let's play!"
When Rainer wants his chair to be pushed in he says, "Need to smoosh Rainer in!"
He also likes to open and close his legs when I am changing his diaper and say "Open the knees. And smoosh the penis." (hahahahaha I can't believe I am writing this on the WWW.)
I won't go boring you with all the reasons I've been everywhere but here, lately, but suffice it to say, I've missed you! Thankfully, I have had a moment or two most weeks to jot down in the journals I keep for the kids some of the funnier (and on occasion, odder) things they've been up to or done. Those books are rife with future blackmail material!
I've been photographing some and we got a new digital recorder which I am just testing out. It is going to be immensely useful and handy and fun (as soon as I free up some room on my computer to store the digital files). Have I mentioned how digital storage of images, video, music, etc, gives me angina?
Here was one of the first videos I shot. Georgia was "noping" me to death because in reality we had already done the bedtime routine and she just wanted to go to sleep. (Normally, she readily and happily REQUESTS these songs (and at least several more), but by this point she was zonked because we'd already read our book (I am reading her "Charlotte's Web"), and sung an arm's length of songs.) It's still kind of cute, though (if you ignore my big mouth.))
Besides that, let's see. I have a lot of Rainer observations and a bunch of Georgia pictures (most of them are ones of her with her MP3 player, it's sort of a montage of images to show just how much she la-la-loves that thing!), so maybe I will just intersperse the two. Sounds fair, right? (Parents of more than one, do you find yourself doing that? Trying to equal out the attention paid to one kid or the other? I do. Rainer takes a lot of my attention, while Georgia is willing to hang on her own a lot. I have to make a concerted efforted to peel Rainer off me and seek Georgia out.) But I digress.
Let's do one of my famous lists. (Famous to whom? You ask? Why...the crickets!)
1. Rainer is noticing (and commenting on) everything these days. And he has a good memory. Which is flabbergasting. And a little scary. I went on a yellow light a week or so ago and he told me, "No go, Mommy! Yellow means be careful, not GO!" I tried to explain to him that I was indeed continuing with caution, but he wasn't having it. Also, since we explained the Don't Walk and Walk lights to the kids at a parade recently, we can't walk or drive anywhere without one or both of the children pointing them out. Georgia says it like one word, "dontwak" and because Rainer is a monkey and likes to copy everything, so does he. "That means dontwak, Mommy."
2. Lately, Rainer gets offended if Georgia doesn't answer him or acknowledge that he is talking. I, of course, think this is WONDERFUL! Built in inititve! Most people don't wait Georgia out. They just assume she can't understand or respond or whatever and they let her slide. I think she is used to being let off the hook. Not by Alex and I, and not by her therapists, but other kids, other parents. But now, not Rainer, either. He is very excited to tell Georgia about his time away from her when we pick G up from camp, for instance, and he wants her to acknowledge him and his adventures and treasures. "Mommy, Georgia not say hi to me!" "Mommy, Georgia doesn't want to see my new ball?" "Mommy, Georgia won't give me hi-five!"
When I walk him through how to get her attention, how to engage her, his is THRILLED when she responds to him. So am I!
(Surely going to be her album cover. Rolling Stones shirt, trashed room, a ukulele, a rainbow tutu, and a potty.)
And some more MP3 player love (nee, obsession).
3. A few months back, before Rainer was able to articulate with quite as much aplumb what he was thinking about, what irked him, what furrowed his brow, prior to his apparent new night-time waking stage (similar to the one G went through at this age, though not nearly as terrifying--nightmares??--whatever it is, it kind of sucks), we used to occasionally put on this one episode of Sesame Street and he would LOSE. HIS. EXCREMENT! Like, in the first scene. As soon as he realized it was that episode. All other episodes, he was fine. But this one? NO CAN DO!
It took us a little while, but one day I put it together that he was scared--I mean PETRIFIED--of this one skit of the itsy bitsy spider. Admittedly, it's terrifying. A quick google search garnered no video online, but let me tell you, it's a grown woman, dressed in a spider costume, a HAIRY spider costume, acting out The Itsy Bitsy Spider.
Rainer HATES it.
Today. Months later. I happened to pop on a Sesame Street. Both the kids are sort of "off" tv at the moment, preferring to do stuff (thankfully), but since it's been so dreadfully hot I thought we'd take advantage of a little SS. Well, Rainer wasn't having it. It was mid-episode, and I certainly didn't recognize it, but he did. He started freaking out. Telling me to turn it off. I asked him "What's wrong, bud? You don't want to watch it?"
Through his tears, his body shaking, he told me, "Rainer no like the spider!!!!! No like the spider. I want to turn it OFF, Mommy!"
Well. There you go. It WAS the spider.
I find this interesting in so many ways. First, holy good memory, batman! Second, where does a two-year-old learn about fear, and how? Three, good verbalization. And four, huh. Wow, even. Man. Shit. Dang. I feel bad. Think of ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the times Georgia has had a meltdown or freaked out or cried or moaned or kicked or screamed or whatever other behavior. And I didn't know why. And I thought, "Maybe this is indicitive of something more." Because you freak out a little as a parent. You know>
But maybe it was just a hairy spider. Whatever that hairy spider was.
(Georgia is sitting in her chair with the tray on because I was THIS close to giving her a haircut. And then I decided I wasn't ready.)
