The Big O-N-E

Tonight before bed I took a couple pictures of Rainer.* His last night as a less than one year old. I am sadder than I thought I would be, all the typical regrets of a year flying by you--I now feel remorse for the moments that I wished he would roll over or sit up or crawl or walk or sign or talk already (although I don't miss that milk-allergy induced colic all that much, and as Alex said this evening "It took a lot of goat cheese pizzas to get this far!").

I also feel proud. Proud of all the things Rainer has accomplished, and also of Alex and myself for doing the things we did. Those sleepless nights passing the baby back and forth between us, giving up dairy for six months so I could continue breastfeeding until after the allergies abated. We spent many nights (and days really) holding on to the ends of our ropes when the rope was more like thread made from the most delicate of silks. Here we are twelve solid months later with a baby who, though he shows signs of weaning, is still nursing and has the gut to prove it! There were many moments early on when I didn't think I could make it through the week, let alone the year. And I feel good about getting to a point where I not only was ABLE to do it, but enjoyed it as well. I wasn't a natural.

I am also proud of Georgia, who, though she like(d)(s) him in fits and starts WILL begrudgingly kiss him good night (from time to time) and seeks him out as a playmate and doesn't hold back her laughter when he is clearly trying to make her laugh (by doing such things as shaking his head from side to side in the backseat of the car with the sole intent of making her laugh).

Four little people, somehow even down here in the mid-Atlantic away from all our family, are making it. Twelve months; three hundred and sixty.....four days. (I still have until tomorrow evening at 6:22pm, darn it!)

*When I was uploading this picture I noticed the two blocks in it say on one 'R' (for Rainer) and on the other both 0 and 1 (zero going on one). Okay, maybe the zero is really an 'O', but I won't tell if you won't. Oh, and and there's also an owl, which...is just cool.

Comments

[RK]

I simply can't be a year already. I won't believe it. I'm in denial. KiKi is NOT almost 9 months old. Braska is NOT almost 3. I am NOT closer to 40 than 30. See how efficiently I use my coping skills? :)

You have come a long way, Mum. I'm so glad to hear you talk of the old days without the stress that was present before. Not that there's not new stress, I'm sure... but pat yourself on the back, my friend. You've survived a year with two kids. And I, for one, think that's a huge accomplishment!!!

[Elena]

A year already, no way!
Happy birthday, Rainer!

[starrlife]

You are strong, a superwoman Tricia! and he is super cute! Thanks for doing the 31 for 21 again! Happy birthday Rainer!

[Anne]

Happy birthday, Rainer! You're a doll baby chunky monkey.

And a big high five to your sister, Mom and Dad, too. This child-rearing thing is no walk in the park and you are all doing so well.

[jessie]

happy birthday to Rainer!

love auntie jessie

[Michelle]

Happy 1st birthday to Rainer!