Unringing the Bell

Happy Halloween!

As Don Herrold said, Babies are such a nice way to start people.

In that case, I think we'll go have a people.

More to come....

Mornin', Folks!

I'm certainly no role-model. I find I am writing first thing in the morning to a.) get it over with and b.) so no one worries that, you know, I might have gone into labor over night or anything ridiculous like that. People don't GO INTO LABOR. It's a big sham.

One more day to post. Are you relieved? I mean, I have to say...I've enjoyed reading your blogs, but it's been a job for me some of these days. I am a fairly regular blogger--if I do say so myself--and it's STILL been a chore. Sadly, I have not been able to read as many new blogs as I would like. But I am still pretty psyched with the number of people who signed up. I don't know how many people have dropped out officially or otherwise, but it's not a big deal. It's nice to have some camaraderie.

But that's not even what I want to talk about anyway. Not sure I want to talk about anything.

My dad and stepmom are coming in this afternoon. I am looking forward to that. It was supposed to be my sister and niece, but sadly my niece is sick and they had to postpone their visit. We'll have visitors for about a bit over a week.

Georgia has been taking steps while holding our hands, but they are SUPER wobbly and crazy. She likes doing it, but it's not necessarily because she wants to walk...just goof around.

Although she will try to take steps on her own. The funniest part of that is she keeps wanting to move the SAME foot forward--her right foot. So instead of going forward, she pivots. I've seen her take up to 5 steps (thus completing a circle) in this manner.

Her mood has been decidedly better for about 3 days. It's wondrous.

And now. Breakfast.

Wanna' Know a REALLY Fun Way to Spend a Wednesday Morning?

*First and foremost, be about 39 weeks pregnant.

*Then, spend at least 45 minutes (more is preferable) speaking with various and sundry billing, insurance, and medical organizations while your child whines in the background (understandably).

*For good measure, throw in some unproductive contractions (just like the ones you've been having for over a month).

*Then. After all that. Discover you DO owe the money. Which is all you wanted to know from the get-go. You just wanted an explanation. Not all those false hopes that maybe you overpaid by several hundred dollars.

Money is just water under the bridge at this point anyway. Right?

By the way. Depending on whether or not you have posted yet today, only 3 days left in 31 for 21. (phew! Am I right?) Hopefully I will get a happier post in before the month is out. But if not...despite my grumpitide I thank everyone for participating. We're forgoing any prize/gift exchanges this year (unless someone else wants to coordinate it...sorry!) but I think most of the feedback discouraged it anyhow. So I am going to try and not feel guilty about it.

Now...on with the rest of our oh-so-exciting day which is likely to include Sesame Street, Signing Time, eating tiny meals 100 times a day, struggling up the stairs to the bathroom (who doesn't have a bathroom on the first floor for goodness sake?????? Crazy people, like us, that's who!) and PJs.

You Know Those Mornings?

When the first stop of the day is to dunk your pee-covered and cold kid in the tub?

I'm getting sick of them.

Of course, AFTER the bath I like the feeling that: "Wow. At least we've already accomplished THAT."

But still.

Last Therapy Appointment for Awhile

Our teacher just left. We won't be seeing any of our (insert acronym here) therapists again until the first week of January. We were originally thinking of just taking a month off to acclimate to the new baby, but then we all realized that the holidays were coming right at the time we'd be starting back up and so we pushed it off. All the therapists said that if they had any concerns they would have pushed to meet sooner, but it really seems like a couple things are happening. One is that Georgia is just doing things at her own pace. She's not one to be coerced into anything. Not in any direct manner. I mean, she listens, she takes things in--that is obvious in our dealings with her--but when she decides to show us just what a little sponge she is...well...she's always shown us when she's good and ready. On her own terms.

The other thing is that, in part because of Georgia's way of doing things, it kind of seems like we have a lot of more or less pointless sessions. What I mean is that no one is really showing us anything new or different, there are no new ideas, and though I mention things or ask questions (i.e. orthotics? walkers? other techniques?) they generally seem to feel that Georgia is not so behind in terms of what a child with DS might or might not be doing at this stage. They are not overly concerned with her progress and they seem to think that a lot of the things I've mentioned (i.e. the walker) are kind of...later stage possibilities.

I don't want to limit Georgia. I don't want people to only think of her in terms of "what a child with DS might be doing," but at the same time. She IS a child with DS. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. Some things she has done and WILL do before even her counterparts without DS, but I am not going to try and keep her on the same "scale" as all children. She's Georgia. Georgia happens to have DS. She'll do things when she does them. We can help her, but I'm not comfortable measuring her on that scale. ANY scale. Just the Georgia scale. I've tried it in the past--using the proverbial typical scale--and it doesn't do ANYBODY any good.

I tend to agree with the therapists I guess. I am not overly concerned with her progress right now. She is MAKING progress and that is good enough for me. I don't mean to say I don't want her to do more...in time of course...but I guess I am comfortable not pushing her beyond her means right now. I am feeling really rather patient about it all. Of course I want her to walk, but she's showing obvious signs that that is coming. (She walked clear across the living room with her grocery cart a couple days ago and she's been walking when we hold her hands, she's cruising like she's always been doing it (though it's really only a skill she's acquired in the last week or so), and she's even trying to take independent steps on her own in the middle of the room.) I guess, since I have this "evidence" that she's likely GOING to walk, I am not worried about WHEN just now.

Speech. Well. That's another thing entirely. And I don't know if I have it in me to discuss it right now. But I guess...I am just torn between PUSHING her to be and do, and ALLOWING her to be and do at her own pace. We work with her. It's not like I mean I that I want to say "Ah, screw it, she'll figure it out on her own." I just don't feel the necessity to keep a scorecard. If, in several months we've made no progress, I will probably feel very differently. But truly, though we have slower periods and faster periods, she is ALWAYS making progress. It's clear if you pay attention. And we do.

So. I don't know what I am even getting at. I wonder what other people think. Do you ever have therapy sessions that just seem...redundant or kind of pointless? Are you more inclined to push more therapies or to step back and let your child lead the way? I know, for me, when Georgia was younger, I wanted EVERY SINGLE THING WE COULD GET AND NOW THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I wanted every new and untested intervention. I wanted to be cutting edge, to push her to the limits, to turn her into some super-DS-baby who proves all the studies wrong.

And then I chilled out. It's a lot to live up to. As Georgia, as her mom. And you know what? Sometimes I just want to be her mom. Her champion of course, but not necessarily her personal trainer at every single interval.

I can't help but think that this is sort of Georgia's decision too. Just by virtue of her personality and the way she tends to learn new things. I feel like we are taking our cues from her. Right now, she seems to be making the right strides. If we think she needs more pushing in a few months (or days even), we'll push.

We've been assured that we can call and ask any questions during our break, so it's not like we will be totally out of the loop. And we are welcome to continue participating in "school," which once the baby's here we'll decide if that's something we can do. I hope so.

Anyhoo...just talking it out I suppose. And perhaps trying not to feel guilty about it. I always wonder if I am doing enough. There's always that niggling voice at the back of my head. But...there's also a voice that is telling me this is right for us right now and I am choosing to listen to her. Why not? I might as well try both ways.

Sunday

I don't have all that much to say today except though I'd like to acknowledge Alex's grandfather--better know as Grampie--who passed away last night. Though I was not lucky enough to know him well, it was apparent in all my dealings with him what an intelligent, funny, and decent man he was. A father to 12 children, a husband for over 50 years, and though we tried to count the other night and lost track, grandfather and great-grandfather to many who will miss him.

Punkin' Paintin' Punkin'

I had such a nice day today. I slept until 9am--tra-la!--and when I got up we took our walk (come on, labor!), and then mostly we just hung out on this luxuriously rainy Saturday afternoon around the house.

Georgia took a long nap (she's been sleeping a lot today, she has a slight something-or-other with runny nose issues, but I think it's also that she's been moving around so much lately trying to walk), and I decided to also take a nap despite sleeping in this morning. I know it probably doesn't help my nighttime restlessness, but yesterday I didn't take a nap at all and I was STILL up in the middle of the night. The way I see it...I won't be napping (or even sleeping) anymore soon enough so I am going to sleep when I can get it.

When G and I awoke we just hung out some more, acted silly, and then finally got around to our pumpkins. I decided to paint the kids' pumpkins (yes, we got one for our forth wheel just in case he decides to arrive) and Alex and I carved ours. (We needed to get some roasting seeds SOMEHOW.)

Pumpkin time was followed by dinner and more just hanging out and munching on pepitas! While it's been no more exciting than most of our days, today I felt really, rather content. It was nice. And Georgia has been a lovebug lately too so I have been enjoying our last moments together with her as a singleton. She actually SNUGGLED with me for over an hour last night, singing songs and giggling. It's just so amazing when she's willing to do that. I love her little warm body, her chin on my shoulder, and her sly little grin.

The only low point of our day was when she...um...fell out of her chair after she painted her pumpkin (totally MY fault too and I felt terrible...although she wasn't hurt at all, just startled). Oh, yeah...and there's water coming into our basement again--not as bad as last time since we fixed the gutter problem, but it looks like we're going to have to call some basement professionals. Blah.

Now I look forward to watching some TV on DVD before bed (another thing I probably won't have much time for soon enough).

Anyway, here are some pumpkin pics. (I should totally save these for post material for tomorrow...but whatever.) Please don't mind the overly excited/overly pregnant/overly nap-tastic/overly polartec-shirt-y mama in these.

Georgia shows off her pointilist technique.

Yay! Pumpkin!

She might not have the grasp of that paintbrush down pat yet, but my gal's TOTALLY ambidextrous.

See? A little over-excited, I'd say. Even Georgy is like, "Uh...Ma? Chill."

Paint. Paint. Paint.

Now it's time to paint the table!

Pumpkin Family 2008.

Getting There

This morning--early--when I couldn't sleep I was thinking. "Man, I should really write about something re: DS on the ol' blog today...or...ya' know...soon." But I keep...not.

I guess I figure the DS parts come through without me glaring a big floodlight on them. I mean, not everyone is trying to teach their child to walk at almost two and flipping biscuits when she finally pushes a toy three steps (more news on this soonly, by the way!!!)...that's the DS stuff for you. It's just there. It's a part of our life always skimming or just below the surface. It's not as though we sit here and stare at it all day. But it IS a part of who we are as a family.

And then, thankfully, we're just the plain ol' boring family we've ever been, sitting around (have I mentioned this) WAITING for the NEWBIE to arrive so we can be a family of FOUR who happens to have DS somewhere mixed in the folds.

Part of the reason why I DIDN'T want 31for 21 to have any rules was because I didn't want people to feel like they HAD to write about DS. Still, I know a lot of us have been feeling badly about not writing more about it specifically.

I just wanted to say, I agree with those who've mentioned that our NOT mentioning it so much or so overtly, I think, IS a testament to how part and parcel it is to our lives. In other words...not such a big deal. Back to that old debate, I suppose....more alike than different? Maybe. In some  ways. Most even? I dunno.

Don't get me wrong. I have questions and concerns. I've been meaning to talk about self-stimming and speech about 50,000 times over the past 25 days. And maybe I will. Probably. I DO tend to talk about things that are troubling me. I can't promise it will be during 31 for 21, but it'll still be a concern of mine whether it's DS Awareness month or not.

I guess I find it interesting too that this trend of not really feeling this great urge or desire to TALK about it is coming from a group of folks with kids who are 2-ish +/- years old. I wonder if we are just finally...getting there.

I find myself intrigued by a lot of blogs from new moms with kids who have DS. They bring me back to a place that, while painful, resonates with me and I want to honor those memories and emotions--and if at all possible be there for the new members of our troops. I hope--I think--that one day they too will get there. They are already on there way. I am amazed by how open and loving and honest and eager to get there they already are.

I'm not one to brag, but wow! We have some lucky kids, huh, Moms and Dads??? We're all getting there. And all they had to do was...take us by the hand.

The Mouse...

...is no more.

I was up around 3:45 this morning, unable to sleep. Still had my earplugs in, actually. Despite them I heard the tell-tale snap!, waited 20 minutes, went to investigate, and found the scene of the crime. Alex got up to take care of the situation (play detective) and eventually...eventually I fell back to sleep after reading for awhile.

How's that for a worthy post?

We just got in from a relatively long walk (long in comparison to the trip to the bathroom from the bedroom which is about as far as I have been wanting to walk lately). We hit up Starbucks (mint tea and apple fritter!), returned some library books, watched some PeeWee football, pushed Georgia on the swings, and crawled up the hill.

If this kid's not getting the hint...

A post in which I describe in detail a dream despite the fact that it's no fun listening to someone else's dream. So shoot me.

I've taken to sleeping with earplugs in again. I had to do that last time I was pregnant too. My husband has a tendency for...well, let's just say he makes a lot of noise in his sleep (often talking about "solving for x" as mathematicians do). Coupled with my restless, uncomfortable, pregnant...-ness...well, it just does everybody a lot of good if I can't hear what's going on.

It's also kind of nice because when he gets up to go to work in the morning I don't even hear him turning on the shower or jangling keys and getting dressed. One problem of wearing earplugs is that occasionally throughout the night I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and I inevitably think it's someone walking up the stairs and that's kinda' freaky. The other problem is that I don't wake up that little bit when he does like I would if my ears weren't plugged. I've asked him to wake me right before he goes so I make sure to take the earplugs out or else I wouldn't hear it when Georgia wakes up or, probably not even if the house were on fire. He says goodbye to me every morning and when I am a little bit awake it's not so startling. With earplugs in? Well...I am hoping it will at least break my water.

This morning I was deep in the midst of a dream wherein Alex and I were at some person's house. Very lavish and eccentric. Lots of colorful fabric and pillows and comfortable couches. I had noticed when I went in search of the bathroom that there were even two tiger cubs--well, more like tiger teenagers because they weren't full grown, but they certainly weren't TEENY either--lounging on one of the couches in the room next to wear Alex and I were sprawled on a big couch watching a movie. For what it's worth, I think we were house-sitting. Anyhow, after using the bathroom in the dream, I walked back to the couch and said to Alex, "Did you know there are tigers?" I don't think he either took me seriously or knew that I meant, like, real, live, breathing, teeth-y tigers.

I took his calmness to mean "Meh. They're tame." And I sat back on the couch ready to snuggle in for more movie watching.

That's when one of the tigers came around the corner and creeped up onto the couch with us. The look on Alex's face told me he decidedly DIDN'T realize I meant "Yeah, Totally LIVE Tigers!"

I was trying to just be calm, cool, and collected. I figured the tiger wasn't acting all tiger-crazy so I'd just let it snuggle up with us and then sloooooowly get the heck outta' there.

That's when the OTHER tiger creeped in.

There was considerably less room on the couch when he climbed up on there trying to make room for himself and his....er....GIGANTIC claw-y paws.

My arm, which was sort of draped over the back of the couch felt rather exposed and I slowly started dragging it back towards myself when I felt the huge muzzle of the tiger wrap around my wrist, not unlike what it felt like when Iggy (or ol' beloved pup) would take my hand in his mouth and rassle, only...I somehow knew this wasn't going to be pretty and I didn't dare "play" with this animal.

I was starting to feel panicked when I realized I couldn't get my hand out of his mouth. That's when I had a flashback (yes, a flashback within a dream) to a time when I was apparently walking down a lane in a zoo pushing a baby in a stroller. The zoo was not unlike the zoo we visited last Christmas in Ireland. Perched up on a tree branch was a tiger ready to lunge down on me and the baby. I knew I was going to be mauled, and worse? The baby too.

That's when, Alex shook my arm to wake me up and scared the ever-loving %$&# out of me.

Sadly, it didn't break my water.