Unringing the Bell

We Might Get There Just in Time

The Cherry Blossom Festival kicked off on Saturday the 29th in DC. It runs through the weekend of our closing, our first weekend in the DC area. If all goes according to plan, we are going to start this spring off right!

One winter when I was living in Southern Vermont, I went to Sanibel Island in the midst of an icy January. It was so surreal to leave the ice and snow of the north and spend a week in the sun and surf. I have a feeling going from Northern Vermont to DC (even in April) will be similar.

It looks phenomenal!

Free Scale Rides

Our bathroom scale is losing its batteries. As a result it is giving a weight reading that is approximately 10 lbs lighter than your actual weight. (What a wake up call THAT was a the OB this week!)

Anyhow, if you are in the area and you are in the business of deceiving yourself, feel free to stop by for a free scale ride.

(I love that darn thing. My good little buddy.)

A Random Update Because It's Just About All I Can Wrap My Brain Around, Ya Know?

Yesterday, Alex took Georgia on a trip to the grocery store. The far away store--because that's where he can buy a certain brand of korma--and I feel bad, but it was such a pleasure to have the house to myself. Quiet. WIthout the constancy of the baby's music boxes repeating.

It's probably the calmest I have felt in awhile, wrapped in my robe, fresh from the shower, reading in bed. Lately in the daytime when Georgia is up, I feel this urgency. Like we ought to be doing something, but I rarely know what. Of course, anyone with half a brain would be able to peg that feeling on the move and the futile feeling of being in a place you are soon to leave.

My brain is constantly loopy. The other night playing Rummy I couldn't concentrate on the cards and kept making lousy moves. It seems I am most relaxed when I am reading or watching movies and I spend a lot of time doing that once Georgia is down for the night or her nap.

I hope for only a couple more weeks of this sick feeling. I am looking forward to taking Georgia out in our jogging stroller for trips to the park near our house and perhaps evening trips to the reservoir.

We're so close I can taste it.

At the same time, this pregnancy has me feeling so stilted. The physical and mental take-over feels so clasuterphobic. Your mind, your body, your energy, it's all-consuming. I don't want to take it for granted. I am so gratfeul to have this little one growing inside. It's just exhausting. And I don't feel like myself.

This morning, Georgia and I are listening to Dan Zanes and making silly faces at one another. I am feeling unsettled because at random times (without warning...grrrrr) our landlords have been bringing over people who are interested in the apartment. It's especially frustrating when Georgia and I are down for our afternoon nap. They have a whole 'nother month to fill the place, it feels a tad excessive to have people coming over so often so soon. But I suppose the sooner it gets done, the better.

Georgia has been making many more sounds in the past week and she's been sincerely trying to imitate us. 'La' is her newest and she looks so cute with her skinny little tongue flattened and sticking out of her mouth as she says it, "la la la la la." She is also fairly consistent at her 'Ba' sound and we have heard her several times refer to her Ball as 'Ba' when we are playing with it together. We have been sort of ingraining that into her though! (hee hee)

She is playing on the floor behind me. I just turned around to check in on her and where she was once laying down drinking her bottle she is now SITTING UP playing with her musical crab. So the sitting up on her own is beginning to happen! This is so awesome. I have been concerned about the fact that we are leaving our therapists this week and do not yet have our new therapies in place (in part because our schedule over the next month is crazy and in part because they apparently do not want to hear from us until we are settled in MD and officially residents or something like that). But to be honest, I am  also looking forward to the break. I don't, however, want Georgia to suffer.

I was able to make appointments with a developmental specialist at the Kennedy Krieger Institute's Down Syndrome Clinic and we have a GI specialist and ENT lined up in MD once our insurance goes into effect so slowly but surely we are inching into our new lives.

As I do believe I MAY have mentioned, and seeing as how it is currently snowing out my window, I am looking forward to the springtime in our new home, but of course, this also means lawn mowing and yard work and house maintenance (all of which I am looking forward to) EXCEPT of course the fact that we don't yet have all the tools we need for our upcoming endeavors. My father is going to give us his manual mower (which is perfect for our little yard) and a step ladder. How I got to 31 without a mower or stepladder? Well...actually, it's rather easy. But. Well. It's dawning on me how much stuff a homeowner actually needs.

And, incidentally, homeowner? That still feels SO GOOD!

I wish Alex would have more time off between this job and the next, but I suppose we should be thankful for the week in which he will hopefully be able to GET to MD, figure out his job route, get some new work clothes, find his way around our neighborhood (hopefully by then I will be able to help), and maybe even mow the lawn! :)

I have to keep reminding myself that the house does not need to be decorated immediately. All our furniture is...uh...OLD and used and for the most part it was free, so we are looking forward to eventually making some new purchases, but we have to get into the new payments and budget and see how it goes. Also, I suppose if we are going to actually PURCHASE things we ought to really think about what we want/need a little! :)

I am frustrated that I won't be able to paint because I would really like to paint the new baby's room (I like Georgia's room colors luckily already) and eventually our room will have to be painted as well. And While I love the colors in the rest of the house (except MAYBE the kitchen, although I can't yet decide on that one) the rooms need some touch-ups. I wonder if I can paint if I wear a mask?

Anyway...I am yammering on and on and on with no good reason other than the fact that Georgia is content and for a moment I don't feel like barfing. And that? That is such a wonderful feeling.

But now, I bid you adieu.

Tulips

I spoke to my dad this afternoon. He works down in the direction towards where we are moving. It's snowing out today up here in Vermont. Has been all day. He tells me the tulips are at least a foot tall down south-ways though. I almost didn't believe him. And I am SO excited to move.

Little Hints

Georgia.

When she was about 7 months old I read that another little one who also has DS just started crawling at 15 months. I don't remember who it was, but I recall that when I heard it I thought, Georgia will surely crawl by then, won't she? I even asked our therapists.

"Georgia is doing so well, do you think she'll crawl by 15 months?"

They were perfectly diplomatic and they wouldn't give me a yes or no answer. They concentrated on what she was working towards and pointed out what she was already able to do. I appreciated it. Even at the time, if they had said "Oh, yes, she'll be crawling by then!" I probably would have thought, "You don't have any idea what you are talking about!" Not because I doubted Georgia, but because if they had claimed to be able to read her developmental future, I would have known they were full of shiz.

I still don't doubt my little girl. Though here we are, Georgia over 15 months and we still don't have a crawl. She gets around a little, though certainly not efficiently or much. To be honest, I am antsy about it. Unsettled. Impatient. Worried.

I've spoken to several doctors in the past month (various sorts) and they all ask the question "Is she walking yet?" to which I reply, "No. She is not yet crawling." I feel a little disheartened every time, but I feel even worse that I feel bad about it.

Georgia is doing many amazing things. She has progressed so much. In many ways. It is not really quantitative how she has grown though. It's in her personality, the amount which she babbles and interacts in her own way. There are tiny little hints that she gets things, but when I am asked to describe them, I don't really know the words. Perhaps it is also me getting better at reading her clues. Have they been there all along? Not all of them...though maybe some from back a ways.

This morning when I went up to get her out of the crib she was sitting up! I cannot tell you how excited this made me. To others? It probably seems of very little consequence. But to me? I was ecstatic! And I knew it was coming. I don't know how...but only 3 days ago I began raising the bar on the crib (it folds down to help reach the baby) thinking to myself that at some point she was going to sit up and that might  lead to pulling up, and that might lead to a baby on the floor! So I raised the side as high as it would go. And three days later, just the sight...walking in, her sitting there, smiling at me. As if to say "Look what I did! Aren't I clever?"

Sometimes I tell people about the little things. That she signs more, claps hands at the right point in a song, reaches out for hugs, reaches up to be lifted and I sometimes feel shy about it, like they might think I am grasping at straws. But in reality, these small things are HUGE milestones to us! She still does not do them 100% of the time, so when she does she still gets a cheer. Often a huge one. It's amazing we haven't given her a standing ovation. Although we've come close.

I know this is just the beginning for us. I know we have many challenges ahead and I don't want to feel so disheartened now. I don't want to feel that way ever! Most the time, I am able to temper my concern, and admittedly, my disappointment. And I want to be perfectly clear there is no negativity placed on Georgia. I know she is trying SO hard. She is truly a wonder and I love watching her every little step. It's me. My attitude needs an evolution. To the positive. To the patient. To the can-do. As much of the time as possible.

A

[I am not sure entirely of the "rules" so to speak of the game. So I am just going to discuss things of great matter in my life. They may be things I love, or things I hate, or things that just don't fit anywhere else. I am not sure if there is a rule police out there, but if so, I hope I haven't offended.]

A

Alex!

OK. I admit, I was mostly thinking about things. So when last night I came up blank and couldn't think of any A things, I asked my husband, "What's something that starts with A?" (I know, I know, not a good way to start out on this little challenge, is it?) He answered exactly as I knew he would, like a neat little alphabet train above the chalk board, "Apple. Aardvark. Appendix."

"No," I said, "What's something A in our life?"

"Uh...Alex?" He answered.

Oh right. Heh heh. You!

And it's true. Alex is the cat's pajamas, the bees knees, the cream o' the crop, the king o' the hill, a swell guy. Through and through. Seriously.

When I met him something 'round about 10 years ago, he was dating my friend (you know who you are!) and we were in college. He was SO young--almost 4 years younger than me--and he had a beard and a baby face.

I do believe we had some beers in my dorm room. My boyfriend Mike and I, Alex and his gal/my pal. We weren't really friends so much as acquaintances.

At some point years later when I worked for the college I hired him to help me haul Mums for Family Weekend, and one night, along with another mutual friend, he showed up at my house after a night on the town and we all cooked scrambled eggs in my tiny little kitchen on High Street.

It wasn't until about 8 years later after we had both graduated and gone our separate ways that we both found ourselves in CT. He sent me an email in response to an email I sent updating my contact information. [Side note: I really have no idea how he ended up on my "People to contact list" because as I said, we didn't know each other well, although I seem to recall having his email in my address book because of the mums.] The email read:

Hi Tricia,

Good luck in New Haven--

I  never spent much time there, but I read that some of the world's best pizza is available there—and it didn't seem like the kind of situation like "World Famous Original Ray's Pizza" where it could turn out to be all talk.

I myself am in Storrs, which you may or may not have known, doing time in the Math mines as a TA/grad student. So as to assuage the effects of wracking my brain all day long, I have taken to playing the banjo. Let me tell ya. If you have even an ounce of musicality, you should try a banjo. Good times guaranteed. Heck, my banjo is even called the "Goodtime Special", although I rather prefer the
name "Old Jo."
                                   Alex

ABC, Easy as 123

I've been noticing people doing the ABC thing on their blogs. And also the 123 (age) thing. Let's face it, my blog has been less than inspired lately, so methinks I will partake as well. It seems like a fun little exercise and as evidenced in various places it could produce some interesting fodder. So I will do that shortly. (Juuuust as soon as I can think of something that starts with A.)

Stay tuned. And join the fun if you are so inspired.

Dewey Decimal System

via Tom!

Go Me.

Georgia rarely sleeps in, so of course she decided to sleep in on the ONE day we have to be up and at 'em (showered, bathed, fed, etc) in time for the doctor's visit! Since she's my alarm clock and she decided to press the snooze button, we somehow managed to do everything we had to do in under 30 minutes. Well under. I think we did it in 20 and I had time to spare!

The best part of today? (Besides the fact that we got outside and it was pushing 40 degrees at 9:30.) But really the best part was that I thought we were having shots, but since apparently Chicken Pox have been bad this year our doc had her get that vacc for that LAST time. This time? No shots! Woo-hoo. That's something to blog about!

Georgia was in the 25-50th% on the typical charts for height and weight. They didn't mention head circ, so I imagine she's not on the typical chart for that. She wighs a whopping 22lbs and 5oz and she's 30 inches long!!! That's 9 inches longer than when she was born and 14 lbs 2oz! It almost gives me growing pains!

We said goodbyes to the doctors and nurses and receptionist staff (who have been nothing but wonderful to us over the past year we have been here) and we walked out with a prescription for Prevacid. The pedi- agreed all this spit-up is no good. So we're on it. Although really, it seems it's gotten a tad better in the past two weeks.

Tomorrow is my first prenatal appointment. I have no idea if they do an u/s this early (I am just about 8 weeks) and I am interested to know if they will consider this a "high risk" pregnancy because of Georgia's health issues. Nothing to do but wait until morning I guess. Still feeling lousy and I am on the saltines and ginger ale diet, but in a pinch I can apparently hit. 20 minutes fed, bottled, bathed and a shower for myself this morning. Go me. It's those personal goals that make life so fulfilling!

365 Tiny Little Days

A couple weeks after Georgia and I get down to Maryland it will be the same time last year when we spent a long week in the hospital while Georgia recovered from RSV. We were looking down the barrel of the gun at the surgery date which was ultimately postponed to June because of the sickness. Next week is our last (perchance forever--woo hoo!) RSV vaccine. A week later we will be on to a new stomping ground.

This time last year Alex was finishing up his PhD, graduating. We moved to Vermont and went back to CT again for the surgery. It feels like forever ago. Those were truly excruciating days. When we were counting every milliliter of formula that Georgia drank from the bottle. When we would top off her feedings by tube. When she would vomit uproariously after we filled her belly. It seems every minute was fraught with anxiety.

I remember the day after Georgia was released from the hospital after RSV, pumping her full of food and medication under the fluorescent lights surrounded by all those proud onlookers as Alex walked across the stage to receive his diploma. The following days full of Alex's birthday and packing and moving. If I recall correctly Georgia was discharged on Thursday, Alex graduated on Friday, we packed on Saturday, and we moved on Sunday. I think it was about 3 weeks before we returned for the open heart procedure.

Those days in Vermont before surgery we had together as a family and were almost respite, though not quite relaxed. Long walks and drives to explore our new and temporary home.

It seems like we have all grown so very much in this past year. Changed and become. Perhaps lagged in ways. And stalled.

But moving now. Again. Finally. I am ready. So ready. And I can't imagine what the next year will bring. With Georgia pushing onwards towards two. A new little one on the way. Alex at a new job. A completely new schedule. A new place, and hopefully, new friends.

I'd like a little peek. A glimpse. But at the same time. It's all that much more rewarding to look back. To say, "Wow. I never thought." When all of a sudden, there you are.