Self Portrait Tuesday!

I am finally getting around to actually doing a photo for Self Portrait Tuesday. I have been meaning to for awhile but for one reason or another, I just kept putting it off. I think this month's topic is suitable to my state of mind. Perhaps because I have been feeling raw and exposed lately, this "assignment" seems plausible. ALL OF ME

The reason I chose this photo (out of the admittedly many self-portraits I tend to take) is because I think it captures an expression that I  initially found amusing only to realize afterwards  is profoundly sad. Terrified even.  Tired, raw and exposed. When I took it I had just showered and put on a black turtleneck sweater. (Something about black turtleneck sweaters seems so dehumanizing, I think they tend to turn prolific personalities into shadows of themselves.) Shot against the stark background in the stark bathroom light with my dark hair (complete with split ends and in need of a cut and a dye) and deep socketed eyes in shadow replete with bags and a forced not-even smile and set jaw, I just think this photo captures the fear I face on my darkest days. The fear of simply waking up and confronting my day. Forcing a smile when there are tears in my heart. (Gothic enough for you?)

Comments

[mom on a wire]

Wow. GREAT post.