(Note: I can't, for the life of me, figure out why typepad is deleting the spaces between my paragraphs, so I apologize for the wonky formatting in advance.)
If, like me, you are a parent to a child with Down syndrome, chances are everyone you have ever met--and their mother--if they know you have a child with Down syndrome, sent you Kelle's Hampton's daughter, Nella's, birth story a few years back. It is near impossible, if you are in the Down syndrome community and go online at all that you don't know who Kelle Hampton, who keeps the blog Enjoying the Small Things, is, but in case you don't, this is her:
Kelle is the mother to two young girls, the second of whom, Nella, was born with Down syndrome, and a newborn baby boy. From what I gather, Kelle was blogging (writing and photographing) about her life and times as a young mother in relative obscurity when suddenly upon the birth of her second daughter, Nella, and the online publication to Kelle's blog of Nella's birth story, she garnered a sort of overnight (or over a few weeks--not sure) popularity.The birth story was wildly popular and in today's parlance "went viral."
I remember for awhile it seemed like everyone I knew in the DS world was talking about the birth story.
Many gushed, many related, many--admittedly, as someone whose family has been a bit more reserved upon the birth of my particular babies, myself included--were baffled (and probably a little envious) by the number of people (read: friends, family, well-wishers) present at or soon after the birth of this baby, and the mere fact that there were party favors. But that, if you spend even a few moments of time reading only a few posts on Kelle's blog, is what you will soon notice Kelle seems to be all about. Kelle is someone who practices the art of "occasion." From what I can see, she does it well. Though, for me, the level of pomp and circumstance Kelle seems to bring to her life online is something I have been unable to relate to all along beginning with parts of the birth story. At times, truthfully, it has made me, in my weaker moments, feel inferior. In my stronger moments though, I certainly don't begrudge her for making the choices she makes, and truthfully, I admire them.
I would say, overall, Nella's birth story, is an honest and raw account of what it was like for a woman to birth a baby, soon after realize she has Down syndrome, and process just what those first few hours of grief and acceptance, loss and love, were like for her. Certainly aspects of the original birth story resonate with me. I will always remember the part when Kelle imagines her newborn infant pleading, "love me, please love me."
Here, though, I find myself digressing. Let me back up.
Recently, I was asked by TLC Book Tours...
I hesitated when I was first asked to review the book, because I thought it would be too difficult to separate an author who blogs so prolifically about her life, from her memoir. Though I don't read Kelle's blog regularly, I have certainly read it. I also happen to be aware that there are strong opinions about the Kelle Hampton "brand," for lack of a better word. (Because let's face it, a blog...especially one that incorporates life-style as Kelle's does, the moment you introduce sponsors, becomes, in part, a brand.)
What Kelle writes about in her blog, and what she writes in her book, while different in parts, overlaps so much it's kind of hard to know where to begin and where to end when discussing it. So, I am going to attempt--I guess, I have been attempting all along, even all these words in--to talk about Kelle's book separate from all that other...stuff.
First though, I want to acknowledge just how brave I actually think it is to put one's personal life and self out there for public consumption. As a person who writes publicly myself, though I have never had the page hits Kelle has on a daily basis, I do know that when you write in a public forum it opens you up for scrutiny. It makes you fair game in a way, and while it's a choice that bloggers and writers in any medium, really, make to open up and share in this manner, it can also become stifling, scary, hurtful, and downright anxiety-inducing. I have always felt--having experienced that scrutiny on a FAAAAAAR less scale--kind of bad for Kelle and others who write like she does. When one publishes a blog post or a book, it becomes this thing that is set. Whether in the annals of the library, or the online "way-back machine," it's out there. All your mistaken thinking, all your sloppy explanations, all your grammatical foibles and nonsensical blathering, it's out there in some form of permanence, just waiting to be read and either embraced or attacked, or, as the case often is, forgotten. So kudos to Kelle, and other people who open up their lives in this manner...
...and onto Bloom.
I think the most striking thing about Kelle's memoir is, by far, the photography. I am NOT a professional photographer, but I did go to photography school, and I have spent a fair amount of time looking at and talking about photos and immersed in truly incredible images. I think Kelle is a great photographer. She has a good eye, and you can see her growth as a photographer throughout the book and (sorry to overlap with the blog for a moment again) on Enjoying the Small Things. In fact, I don't actively read the blog, but I DO follow Kelle on Instagram, and I am often stopped in my tracks by the beauty and simplicity of many of her images.*
However, with the exception of a few beautiful turns of phrase, or moving moments within longer anecdotes, I found Bloom--the words portion, much like I find the words portion of the blog--to be somewhat lacking.
I don't know if it's that I am a skeptic about the publishing world, or that it seems everyone with a blog and a certain fan-base is getting their books published lately, but I largely get the sense that Harper Collins wanted to hitch their wagon to the meteoric wagon that Kelle was suddenly rocketing upon.
I felt, much of the time, that I was reading something one might find in the ever-sugary Reader's Digest--which, when I was twelve, or so, I am going to tell you, I loooooooooved. As the mother of a child with Down syndrome, I teared up in parts, I related to quite a few emotions and experiences in the book. However, I found the writing itself dull despite its almost breathless "everything has meaning if you only pay attention" flow. I found myself asking "What is the point of this book?" and "Where is this going?" and "Why should I care?" Honestly, I found myself kind of bored.
As I said to a friend, it's not that I don't think there's a story there. There probably is, but even after reading it, I don't know what it is. It left me feeling like I was grasping for a plot. In bits and pieces, I DO think Kelle is a good story-teller. But this book reads...a little too much like a...well...blog. It left me asking, why anyone, other than because it sells, one would need the book instead of, or in addition to, the blog.
The "story" in Bloom feels rushed. It feels absent of much "deeper" meaning. It feels like a memoir written too soon.
I can see potential in Kelle's writing. I can see how, with practice and lots of editing, it can get to a better place, and I do think Kelle has--like I believe everybody has--something important to say. I didn't, however, personally, find myself being riveted by the mere words on the page.
Kelle does seem to have a message. I admire her commitment to living a not only happy, but a joyful life. At the same time that I am somewhat repelled by it--as a more sort of subtle, reflective, introvert myself--the festive party pomp and circumstance that Kelle seems to create for her family's and her own day to day life...well, it's to be admired to an extent, and embraced if that's your thang, but the bigger message there, and what I admire most, is that Kelle has chosen not to live her life in a state of "tragedy."
Kelle has chosen to look at her own grief over losing "what might have been" and upon examining it and seeing what's there, to fold it up and put it in her pocket. I ultimately find that to be a brave move and sound decision. Sure, every now and again as parents of kids with special needs, we come across that slip of paper and it surprises us, and in the back of our minds we know it's tucked away in the pocket of a fall jacket somewhere, but we don't worry it in our hands every day, if we are wise.
So, yes, I think there is wisdom to be found in Kelle's book if you pay attention. There is a message. But I am more interested in the book she might right in ten or twenty years. When she (and I) have more space, and time, and writing experience, on this planet. I'd be interested to see just where she goes as a writer.
And by golly, as long as she lets me, I'm going to keep looking at her pictures!
*I am placing this here, as an aside, because I think it is something to note, that Kelle, by virtue of her photography (and also her book and blog) is successfully, I think, branding life with Down syndrome--branding motherhood, period--using a beautiful gauzy and dreamy filter. I don't mean that as a criticism. I, personally, think there is much beauty in this "Down syndrome world" and Kelle is particularly good at capturing it. The little PR person who lives inside of me--and roots for Down syndrome as a "cause"--is grateful for Kelle and others like her who are able to capture so much--in words and/or pictures--about life in general, and also life with a child who has a disability, so stunningly. It's no secret that people who have Down syndrome, for generations, have typically been painted in a negative and much less than beautiful light. I appreciate that Kelle takes the time to capture the sort of sacred and mundane moments. I appreciate that she is so popular and beloved because I think it is HIGH TIME someone showed all that is beautiful about both the people who have Down syndrome and this world of Down syndrome in general that many of us traverse.
